The Secret Old Journal. . . woo!

the writer's back at it (6-3-01)
Exciting Excursion #1 (6-5-01)
18 Innings (6-6-01)
Mizithra! (6-7-01)
Cajun Cheeks (aka Exciting Excursion #2) (6-7-01)
Me? Donate? (6-9-01)
Hiatus (6-10-01)
Marciano & Germantown (6-10-01)
Exciting Excursion #3: U2 in Philly!!! (6-11-01)
Byebye Philly, Hello NYC & Boston (6-12-01)
Randomness (6-14-01)
Grad School, Life and the Sunday Paper(s) (6-18-01)
Recent Attainments (Purchases, Borrows) (6-19-01)
Brocktonia (6-19-01)
Charlotte & Nashville (6-20-01)
South of the Mason-Dixon (aka Exciting Excursion #4) (7-3-01)
News about Cambridge! (7-3-01)
Life goals - or something (7-5-01)
Cambridge! (Mass. this time) (7-6-01)
BSB (7-7-01)
NKOTB reprise!!! (7-8-01)
rather uneventful (7-9-01)
introspection (7-11-01)
for posterity. . . (7-11-01)
snobbery, and the question of intellectual pedigree (7-12-01)
Copley Square (7-13-01)
My 21 3/4 Birthday! (7-14-01)
the scary man diaries - a memoir (7-15-01)
misty passports (7-16-01)
yo (7-18-01)
sigh (aka the story of my life) (7-19-01)
Southie & School (7-20-01)
what I miss about Penn (7-22-01)
Blondeness (7-24-01)
my wrist is awesome (7-25-01)
Stem Cell Dilemmer (7-26-01)
score!! (7-27-01)
North End & Voltaire (7-30-01)
cold pizza & Don Quixote (8-1-01)
medievalism (8-2-01)
Dentist, Diploma, and Shakespeare on the Common (8-3-01)
lobster (8-5-01)
dearth of entries (8-10-01)
despondence (8-15-01)
facing my demons (or, "cocktails and barbecue on the beach") (8-23-01)
profound sadness (9-12-01)
harrowing misadventures of a humanities BA job seeker (10-10-01)
fellowship fun!!!!! (10-11-01)
i am officially a palindrome
oh and maybe the time is right. . . oh, maybe tonight (10-17-01)
what to do with my life (10-20-01)
happiness is. . . making out like a bandit (and other stuff) (10-21-01)
Lithu-mania! (10-22-01)
IQ, and the significance of 14 (10-23-01)
crushes, and men (10-30-01)
halloween stats (11-1-01)
if i were any cooler, i'd be an ice cube (11-2-01)
ARIZONA!!!! (11-5-01)
rock on with my bad self (11-9-01)
the 'quiet' ones (12-5-01)

the writer's back at it

June 3, 2001

5:44 AM EST

Hi everyone. :) After getting much enjoyment out of reading the trials and tribulations of others' lives in online journals, I am finally ready to divulge the details of my life over the internet. No holds barred. Well, maybe some. I am a discreet creature, you know. . .

As for the title of this entry, which would imply that I have not written for a time: that is both partly and partly not true. I have, after all, just recently finished a behemoth honors thesis on pregnancy and authorship from the Middle Ages to Early Modern England. So I guess I have been writing things. . . but what I haven't been writing are regular journal entries. To be sure, I used to religiously record my life back in 7th, 8th, and 9th grade, but the tomes which contained the precious details of that time are long lost. Hence, I am starting afresh, rising from the ashes, being good about dishing the details of my life for everyone to see. . .

Enjoy the ride.

What I'm wearing: Mismatched pajamas: the shirt part is this green and black plaid design, the pants part is light blue with white tropical flowers. I am stylin', if I do say so myself.

What I'm listening to: Ghetto birds chirpin' outside my window and the occasional car driving by.

How I'm feeling: A little tired, but not quite tired enough to go to sleep. Yes, I'm nocturnal. :)

Exciting Excursion #1

June 5, 2001

1:42 AM

Today was my first exciting excursion of the summer (post-graduation, I had previously been holed up in my house doing not much other than sleeping, reading and procrastinating :P). Michelle and I met up in Boston and hung out there for the day. To get there I took the commuter rail from Campello into South Station. The commuter rail is so weird. Every time they go to shut the doors after a stop the sound system plays the first few notes of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas." Or at least it sounds like it. One of these days I am just gonna bust out and sing it. 'Cause I can't be the only one who hears it - can I. . .?

So we met up in Government Center and chilled on that slanted thing outside the T stop. We people watched for a bit (prime location for it), and we also got in a good deal of trash talking. Then we roamed around and found this place to eat outside. Over the chicken fingers, nachos and $1.67-no-free-refill Cokes I started talking about Nepal. Then Michelle informed me that the people sitting behind us pilfered my conversation topic. I felt so violated!!

But yeah, I was happy to see Michelle before she headed off to Amherst and then Philly (I might not see her for a while). :( Now it is back to boring, mundane life here in Brockton until I visit Chris down in Harwichport later this week. That should be awesome. :)

What I am wearing: purple, fuschia and white striped tee, dark bootcut jeans, and of course, no shoes. Yo, if I could, I would never wear shoes. :)

What I am listening to: Utter silence. Unless you count the hum being emitted from the CPU.

How I'm feeling: A little tired. Didn't sleep before my Boston trip today, but I took a nap earlier this evening. I should be good for a couple more hours, anyway.

18 innings

June 6, 2001

3:14 AM

I can't believe it took the Sox 18 innings to put away Detroit tonight. There were some cool moments, like when Tim Wakefield spun around and picked a runner off second, and when Pedro was drumming in the dugout (yay, drumming!!!), and when Shea Hillenbrand hit the game winning homerun, and when at 12:45 AM they showed the anchors for the Fox 25 News at 10 (PM) just sitting around and announced that the news would instead happen at 10 AM. heehee. (fyi: the 10 o'clock news finally happened at 1 AM.) I wonder what the longest game in major league history has been. . . this had to be close!

So that is about it for "substantive" commentary today. Don't feel jipped, now. ;) What I am wearing: OK, I need to procure a dress for Richard's friend's wedding, so I am trying on one of my sister's. It is black with pinkish flowers, and has spaghetti straps, an asymmetrical hem, and this sketchy cutout right between the boobs. It looks normal on her, but skanky on me (I will let you guess why. . . :P)

What I am listening to: Two things: Not an Addict by K's Choice (awesome song) on Winamp, and the TV which is on in the background. It is some gameshow where these celebrities are trying to figure out which of three men is actually a priest. Freakish. I have not really been paying attention, so I can't tell ya much else.

How I'm feeling: Wide awake and energetic. Feel like going for a run, but I'm not going outside at this hour!

Cajun Cheeks (aka Exciting Excursion #2)

June 7, 2001

10:05 PM

Today was my second exciting excursion of the summer. I met up with Chris in Harwichport and we spent the day down the Cape. It was awesome!!

Just getting to the Cape was interesting. We crossed the old-school Sagamore bridge (built during the depression) and swerved around a duck and its ducklings that were trying to cross a highway (I hope they made it OK!)

Eventually we got to Harwichport (about a 1 hour and 45 minute drive from my house) and I got to meet Chris' parents. They were super nice. Then Chris and I headed off to bustling downtown Chatham (which was totally anachronistic, and a tad yuppieish with its shops and galleries and stuff - but not too bad). There we ate Cajun Cheeks at this restaurant (the name escapes me). What are cajun cheeks, you ask? I'll let you wonder about that one. . . at least until the end of the entry. ;)

After those scrumptious cheeks, we headed off to the ocean! Well, I guess it was technically a bay, but who's keeping track? :P Anyway, there I got to see a new and exciting creature (well, to me, not the evolutionary chain): the horseshoe crab. There are *tons* of them down the Cape. One was even flipped over on its back and Chris and I saved it from dying by flipping it back over. Yay, humanitarian deed for the day! After walking through the gorgeous ocean and sand, and scaling a couple sand dunes, and munching on recycled hummus (we also got that at the restaurant), we trampled across some coastal flora (high grasses, arid shrubs, etc.). We were trying to find our way out of this place (note: we were in virtual isolation; not many souls were to be found besides crabs, birds, and numerous wildlife carcasses - this was actually part of a wildlife reservation, not an actual swimming beach area) when Chris mentioned something about ticks. Then he refuted his statement, saying that ticks wouldn't really be in the area. Then, what do we but see the back of a huge sign up ahead, and when we got to the front of it it said to beware of 4 different kinds of ticks!! Oh, the irony of at all. . . So here I am now, back in the 'hood, hopin' that I didn't get too bad a sunburn (this is the girl whose ex-best friend called her "pasty ass," and who got a second degree sunburn in the boonies of northern New Hampshire [aka Dartmouth] in September of 1998)! Yes, I am the pastiest person ever, and I am half southern European. Makes no sense. But neither do I. :)

Oh, and the cajun cheeks? They were spicy pieces of fried cod. Mmm. . .

What I am wearing: purple tee, jeans, and black sandals which were not designed for the terrain. :P

What I am listening to: The Space Between by DMB is stuck in my head, but not technically playing. Beautiful song. It's old school DMB, back to their sensitive roots.

How I'm feeling: Thrilled that I had such an awesome day. :) :) :) :)

Me? Donate?

June 9, 2001

1:49 AM

Today for some reason I was the first one in our house to get to the mail (usually I am asleep when it comes). Instead of getting anything cool, I got a big 'ol envelope from the Penn Fund asking me for a donation to the Class of 2001 gift. Now, bear in mind that this is the third such letter I have received. If the Penn Fund is so needy, where do they find the resources to send multiple mailings to everyone in my class (and I'm sure everyone else who is an alum)? What about all the poor trees being hacked down to serve Penn's greedy corporate needs - surely I remembered from the first letter that if I wanted to donate to the Penn Fund I could just go to Or even if I forgot that I could just get to the unsubtle link off Penn's front page. Sheesh. Feel the wastefulness!!

You may wonder why I don't give in and just donate to Penn already. Believe me, when I see all the wasted paper sometimes I am tempted. But I have moral qualms about the whole deal. Putting aside my largely ambivalent feelings about Penn, the main reason I'm not donating to the Class of 2001 gift is that they chose to fund a staircase over an endowed scholarship. I have severe moral qualms about giving money to Penn's cheesy structural whims, especially since this staircase is in Houston Hall, a once normal-looking building which has been transformed into the epitome of gaudiness and totalitarian Penn corporate regime. Yup, the Penn Machine has taken over, getting rid of the neat stuff they had there before (among that Burger King, one of two that used to be on a campus that now boasts none). Argh. Why can't we have some semblance of a normal campus?? Why must everything on campus be either upscale or owned by Penn?

Anyway, those are my reasons for protesting the fund (I noticed that 3 of my best senior friends were also conspicuously absent from the "Honor Roll List of Donors" Penn sent along in its mailing [yay, them!] along with a good 1,700 or so members of our class). So I am obviously not the only one in my class perturbed by Penn's motives. Maybe I can figure out a way just to donate to financial aid on my own. That is a worthy cause. :) In other news today, I finally went to occupational therapy after a little over two weeks' absence. My OT gave me this stuff that is like silly putty for me to squeeze. Yay, fun. :P

What I'm wearing: A blanket. I'm cold. :(

What I'm listening to: Someday by Mariah Carey. My sister has it downloaded on her computer. I hadn't heard this song in so long. This time (unlike previous times) I managed to get through the song without trying to belt out the last few ten-million-octaves-above-the-staff notes with my incapable voice (my junior high chorus director described it as "somewhere between soprano and alto." Isn't there a better classification than that? :P) Anyway, you don't wanna hear my falsetto attempts. heehee

How I'm feeling: Mellow. But not yellow. Mmm. :)


June 10, 2001

2:29 AM

SUP!!!! Today was kinda a slow day (except for the phone call from Tristan - yay :)). Since I may not be around a computer for the next couple days or so, I will let you in on my itinerary so you can look forward to future exciting entries:

Sunday (i.e. today, or as I would consider it, tomorrow) at 2ish: going to Brockton High again (wow) for Jennie's graduation. Craziness. I have not set foot in Marciano stadium in a while.

Sunday at 7ish: Amtrakin' it to Philly to see U2 in concert on Monday night!!!! Unendable thanks to Tristan for this jaw-droppingly amazing graduation present. :) This concert should be awesome. I am excited too because I will also get to see Jonas and Laura on the trip, and hang out at Laura's house in Germantown. Fun!!

Early Tuesday AM (or what I would prolly call Monday night): Tristan and I will be off to NYC (and hopefully get some feast time in before he has to go to work) and then I will continue on to Boston. So you should be gettin' your entry about all these adventures on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning (unless I randomly enounter a computer somewhere along the way).

Oh, I know another cool thing I could tell ya - I went to Penn in Touch at around 6 AM today/yesterday and saw that my transcript now says:

Degrees Awarded: Bachelor of Arts cum laude with Distinction in English

Pretty neat for a girl who had a 2.5 gpa first semester freshman year, eh? You'd think I was actually smart or something. :P

What I'm wearing: Penn sweatshirt and red plaid pajama pants. Stylin'. :P

What I'm listening to: Nelly Furtado. She is my girl. :)

How I'm feeling: Psyched for my trip!!

Marciano & Germantown

June 10, 2001

I am not time stamping this because I am writing it after the fact.

Today was Jennie's graduation. It was bizarre being back at Brockton High again. I got to park my lawnchair right on Marciano stadium's field and see the graduation. It was cool. :) It was a gorgeous day (meaning I had to deck myself out in 800 SPF sunblock and a Red Sox cap to guard myself from the sun). Jennie got her diploma early 'cause she is in Student Senate but then I had to sit there through the 700 other names being read. :P It was freakish to see my old teachers there: Dr. Szach, who used to teach World History but is now the assistant principal; Ms. Ayache, my French teacher; Mr. Burley, an English teacher I never had in class but who I knew and Ms. Alschuler (sp.?), another teacher I never had but who knows me because she also went to Penn and majored in English. Didn't see Mr. Laurino, my 9th grade English teacher and mentor (where would I be if it weren't for him?), so that made me kinda sad. :( But all in all it was fun.

Shortly after bestowing some flowers upon my sister I fled the ceremony so I could get to Boston in time to make the last train to Philly. I will spare you the details of this train ride 'cause they are not all that interesting. Basically it was me, 7 hours, a train, a guy sleeping next to me, and Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut, New York, and finally Pennsylvania. Tristan and Laura were there to greet me when I finally made it to 30th Street Station at 1 AM and Laura's mom drove us to her house, where we stayed and chilled. Then it turned into Monday, and that's a whole 'nother entry. :)

What I was wearing: I forget what I wore during the day, but Laura gave me a University of Maryland tee to sleep in 'cause I forgot the top half of my pajamas. :P

What I was listening to: U2 mp3s off Laura's computer. And Radio Saskatchewan in Laura's car!! :P

How I was feeling: Couldn't wait for the concert!!

Exciting Excursion #3: U2 in Philly!!!

June 11, 2001

I am not time stamping this because I am writing it after the fact. But I will tell you that the concert was at 7:30.

Today was the utterly unbelievable U2 concert at the First Union Center in Philly. But first I will tell you about the rest of my day.

Laura, Tristan, and I woke up. Laura made me this awesome breakfast of pancakes, eggs, and bacon. Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day so I was very, very excited. :) :) :) :) After watching a bit of Queen Latifah's talkshow (I had no clue she had a talkshow - no wonder I haven't heard any new raps from her lately!) we called up Jonas and he couldn't hear us over his cellphone. But it didn't matter 'cause somehow we met up with him back at Penn anyway. We hung out within mere yards of the Corner of Death (36th and Chestnut), drinking beverages (note: Code Red Mountain Dew is not that yummy. Too cherry-y. Unless you're Tristan or Laura, who think it tastes the same. Maybe I am weird. But I digress. . .), loitering, and wreaking general havoc. Then we got food (I got my signature roasted garlic chicken crepe with no onions, scallions, or peppers. SOOOOOO good.) We randomly saw Jeff, Katherine, and some of Laura's friends walk by while we ate outside near the compass.

Eventually Tristan and I broke away to go see U2. We got on the Orange Line (a like I never knew existed in the 4 years I was at Penn :P) to get to the First Union Center. There we claimed our seats which were actually pretty good. We were lucky to be directly facing the stage (instead of off to the side, or worse, behind the stage), but we were high up, and the seating arrangement is steep. Now, I am not really afraid of heights, but let's just say that if you accidentally got pushed or something you would be a goner, falling many, many feet to your unhappy death. But luckily we survived. :)

I forget the exact "playlist" of the concert (although Tristan amazingly memorized it), but U2 sang a good mix of old and new songs. Their choices tended to favor the new album, but that was to be expected. They opened with my least favorite song off the new album (Elevation), but I guess they had to, seeing that it was the "Elevation" tour and all. :P Ooh, and how appropos for the tour to be called "Elevation" with the ultra-steep seating in the stadium. . . heehee

Anyway, the songs were cool overall. I was happy that they sang Sunday Bloody Sunday, Pride, One, Stuck in a Moment, and Walk On . I was bummed that they did not sing Angel of Harlem, but I guess that song was not mainstream enough. Maybe at the New York show. . . ;) Many more songs were sung during the 3 hours plus, and there were tres cool lighting effects. There was a heart-shaped runway that Bono and The Edge would walk around, and the walkway could light up in all kinds of crazy ways (chasers, etc). Bono also did this cool thing during The Fly: he ran around the runway a few times and then pressed himself onto the screen with his leg up like a smashed fly while these neon lights flashed crazily. It was cool!! Maybe you had to be there. :P

One of the coolest things about the concert was Bono's humility. He remarked upon his humble beginnings of playing small clubs for audiences of 20 people in the early 80s, and how he is still amazed and honored that people "spend their hard-earned to see a rock show." He also thanked the fans for giving him and the band "a good life." It probably sounds like he thought he was gonna die, but it really was a humbling and beautiful moment.

After the concert I bought a $30 tee (it is pretty, gray and red and stuff) and Tristan and I got ourselves back to Laura's. There we played Life (I hadn't played that game in so long!!), teased Laura's cat, and eventually went to bed.

Yay for an awesome day!!!

What I was wearing: I honestly cannot remember. Must not've been too memorable. :P

What I was listening to: If you don't know this by now, obviously you are retarded. ;)

How I was feeling: On cloud nine!!!

Byebye Philly, Hello NYC & Boston

June 12, 2001

I am not time stamping this because I am writing it after the fact.

Today was mostly spent in transit, but I will try to relay the interesting details, if any. heehee

The day after the incredibly fab U2 concert, Laura, Tristan and I woke up and I feasted on Grape Nuts. I hadn't had Grape Nuts in sooo long. Wow, Life and Grape Nuts - what could be better?!?! I am going to Laura's house more often. :)

Pretty soon after breakfast Tristan and I said our goodbyes to Laura and we left Germantown for 30th Street station. There we ate more because we had to wait awhile for NJ Transit to Trenton and NYC. I had this yummy chocolate chip muffin, another item I hadn't had in a while. As you can see, this trip was totally worthwhile in so many ways. . . So while chilling and waiting for the train we encountered much wildlife in 30th Street Station, including pigeons and a beautiful German Shepherd that I wanted to abduct. Oh, well.

So we finally got on our train to Trenton and eventually on our train to NYC. We spent much of this travel time chatting about stuff, checking out Boston's Hottest Singles (heehee), and admiring the breathtaking scenery. When we got to NYC I bought a ticket for a train to Boston and Tristan and I went to get lunch. We found this pizza place a couple blocks from Penn Station in Manhattan that was packed with crazy people. I ate part of a very good chicken parm sub here (it was massive and I could not take it with me :( ) and Tristan had most of a massive piece of pizza that looked yummy. We chewed the fat for a little while longer and then reluctantly moseyed on back so we could sit on the floor in the middle of Penn station and obstruct the people waiting for trains. Fun. :) Then when they announced my train we went our separate ways, me to Boston and Tristan to work in NY (sniff!!!) But this trip was ultra fun. :)

The rest of the day consisted of a little over 4 hours from New York to Boston (including some gorgeous stops in Westerly and Kingston, Rhode Island - must visit sometime). Then once I got to South Station I took the commuter rail to the 'hood (aka Campello in Brockton). Then I went to sleep. I was tired!

What I was wearing: I think it was a black tee and jeans. . .

What I was listening to: The sounds of like 6 different forms of transportation. :P

How I was feeling: Happy and tired.


June 14, 2001

10:46 PM

Isn't it cool when you randomly e-mail your old high school friend asking him to call you when he's in the area (i.e., Massachusetts) and then he calls you up immediately after you send that email and talks to you for a couple hours - long distance from Chicago? ;) I feel special!

I really wish I could conglomerate all my peeps in one area. It seems like I have friends everywhere but here. :( I mean, Michelle was here, but now she's back in Philly. And if people aren't in Philly, they're in the south, midwest, or west. Argh. And the problem is, I *LOVE* Massachusetts, so I don't really wanna leave. But I get lonely. Oh, the trauma.

But soon there's Richard and Tennessee. :)

What I am wearing: Jeans that are way too short. Jeez, I am tall.

What I am listening to: The roar of the air conditioner. I really hate it. My body cannot withstand this extreme cold. :( Bring back the hotness!

How I am feeling: Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezing cold. brrr

Grad School, Life and the Sunday Paper(s)

June 18, 2001

4:45 AM

Today I spent over 7 hours of my day reading 3 sunday papers (the Globe, the Herald, and the Empty- er, Enterprise), and 2 random non-Sunday papers. Reading papers is such a guilty pleasure for me. Yeah, I know, I am bad. ;)

Besides reading my papers, I put the finishing touches on my Ransome Scholarship Trust application for St. Andrews (as visions of rugged Scottish coastline danced in my head). Seriously though, how cool would it be to go to Scotland for a year for free and emerge with a masters degree? Utter awesomeness if you ask me. Of course, I am still waiting to hear back from Cambridge on the aid situation. I wonder what I would do if I got full funding from St. Andrews and partial funding from Cambridge. I can hear some of my friends telling me to go to Cambridge because it is more prestigious, while I can hear others telling me to pick the cheapest one 'cause a masters degree in medieval literature is gonna get me nowhere in life. :P I honestly don't know what I would do. Dag Libra indecisiveness.

Yeah, it is weird being 21 and feeling like you have so much time to figure out what the dealie is with your life, but at the same time worrying that so many of your friends already have a life plan and you are just being a confused slacker. Or so it seems. So I don't have everything all figured out yet. It is all good. For now. :)

What I am wearing: My Hey Day shirt (it is like the comfiest shirt ever), and red plaid pajama pants. And sparkly blue nail polish on my toes.

What I am listening to: Outside: gunshots and screeching cars (gotta love Brockton), inside: Hit 'em Up Style (Oops) by Blu Cantrell. What a cool song. Good for those woman-empowerment moods. :)

How I am feeling: Contemplative. And still all shivering from the AC.

Recent Attainments (Purchases, Borrows)

June 19, 2001

11:42 AM

Lately I have been amassing some random stuff. Here it is:

Books: No Exit by Jean-Paul Sartre, and Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett. Read both these books over 4 years ago in AP English, but I forget 'em both. There was just a dearth of existentialism in my life that I needed to fix. :)

Music: Haydn's Concerto for trumpet and two other books of trumpet solos. Fun, fun, fun. Me trying to be a "serious musician."

Garments: a brown tee and a light blue tank top from J. Jill. That store is pretty. Reminds me of the ocean.

There are other purchases, but I cannot disclose them for now. heeheeheehee

Oh, and I was in this educational toy store in South Shore Plaza in Braintree and they had a stuffed cockroach toy. That is just nasty. Who would ever buy his/her kid that?!?! Maybe someone who has never been on the front lines with the little demons themselves. . .

What I am wearing: Fell asleep in my clothes from yesterday. :P (purple tee, jeans that actually are long enough this time)

What I am listening to: Sleeping people.

How I am feeling: All good.


June 19, 2001

7:58 PM

OK, I know I already wrote an entry for today, but since it was really about yesterday (and prior days) I feel justified in writing another one. Plus this is my journal, and I can do whatever I want. So there. :P

I called this entry Brocktonia because the stuff I observed today was weird, and probably only possible in Brockton.

Take Brockton wildlife - today, for the third time in as many days, I saw this pretty-but-noisy medium-sized brown and white bird divebomb this geriatric, one-eyed, black and white cat that survived a fire a couple houses down from us. Yup, I said divebomb. This presumably homeless cat randomly saunters across our lawn while the bird squaks at it and jabs it in the butt. I like birds more than cats, so to me, this is hilarious. But I can see the animal rights activists pulling up in my driveway now. . .

Also observed in Brockton today - Westgate Mall, this mall on the outskirts of Brockton which used to only have stuff like beeper stores, nail salons, and a Bradlees (discount store like K-Mart, for the non-initiated) now boasts such upscale stores as Gap, Old Navy, Victoria's Secret and Bath and Body Works after a remodeling last summer. An economist would have a field day with this, because as you can guess these upscale shops do not seem to fit into an urban market. Everyone who wanted these shops has long since fled to suburban malls, and Westgate, in trying to go from abandoned squalor to uber-poshness, cannot find its niche.

My evidence? Today I went into the four stores I mentioned above. They were dead. Don't get me wrong - it was wonderful, but these stores are never gonna survive here unless they get traffic. The pluses? My sister and I were the only customers in the Gap. They had jeans for as little as $16.99. You would *never* see that in suburbia. I picked up a pair of $19.99 ones (and a $48 pair of boot cuts. . . couldn't resist). Went into the fitting room, and there was no one there to count my items and open the door for me!!! It was craziness!! I loved it though, because my entire shopping experience was so pleasant and unmediated by freaks. Same dealie with Victoria's Secret - dead, and the bonus was that they actually had the style of bra I wanted in the size I needed (unlike the suburban mall I'd been to the other day). Another point for Brockton. :)

Well, that was today, shopping and flexing my credit card muscles. heehee. I never use my credit card, so I need to establish a credit history.

Oh, and this isn't related to anything, but for the record I need to establish my list of my 3 most wanted men. They are, in quasi-particular order:

Pierce Brosnan
Bono (of U2, if you are clueless), and
Tim Wakefield, Boston Red Sox Knuckleballer

I just read this article about Wakefield this morning and it made me want to record these people. I know this list is ridiculous, as Brosnan and Bono are already taken, but Wakefield is single. . . *sigh* :)

What I am wearing: Birks and a bra. Oh, and jeans. :P

What I am listening to: The roar of the AC yet again. And George Michael's Freedom is stuck in my head. They were playing it in Old Navy.

How I am feeling: Chill. Literally and figuratively. ;)

Charlotte & Nashville

June 20, 2001

9:24 PM

No, I am not going on tour to promote my latest country music album. . . I am going to visit Richard, my fellow BHS Class of '97 peep!

I am particularly excited about this trip 'cause I have never been to the Real South. I have been to the Faux South (i.e., Disneyworld, Universal Studios, Sea World, and other places in Orlando - and the Atlanta airport), but nothing that constitutes the Real South. I am lookin' forward to tons o' fun. Maybe find a Jack in the Box, chill in a pasture (Richard has cows!!), and even attend a "podunk" wedding. The adventures await! My itinerary includes a trip to T F Green airport in wonderful Providence, Rhode Island, a flight from there to Charlotte, NC and then a flight from there to Nashville, TN (oh, and the flight home to Providence has a stopover in Philly - e-mail me if you wanna meet up!). Then something like a 3-hour drive to Richard's house in southwestern Tennessee. I dunno what my internet access situation will be like down there, so this may be the last entry for a while (I will be gone from June 21-June 30). Latah! :)

What I am wearing: The most ridiculous outfit ever: a green nightshirt with dalmatians on it (dalmatians that are wearing sunglasses and baseball mitts, mind you) and blue and yellow plaid boxers. And Birks. And blue toenail polish still.

What I am listening to: Pots and pans clanging downstairs. Maybe I will get to eat soon. . .

How I am feeling: Psyched up for this trip!

South of the Mason-Dixon (aka Exciting Excursion #4)

July 3, 2001

8:04 PM

Where I was from June 21-July 2:
Enville, Tennessee (about equidistant between Nashville and Memphis (like 3.5-4 hours each way)). We are talkin' hardcore, rural southwest Tennessee, about an hour north of Mississippi and Alabama. I also visited Henderson and Jackson, TN.

What the area was like:
Hickville! Excuse my urbanness (born and bred and educated in cities), but Enville is the land of nothingness. There are no streetlights on the roads, which are carsickness-enducing due to their hilly- and twistiness. No sidewalks either. No convenience stores, no gas stations, no supermarkets, no civilization for about an hour from where I was staying. The architecture in the area was really boring: little, low-to-the-ground houses and trailers - nothin' big. Lotsa farm land and forests. And Baptist churches everywhere. If you are not Baptist, forget it.

What I did there:
Hung out with Richard. We took a walk through the nothingness and saw cows chillin' in a river. They were cute. Wish I'd had a camera. Saw Richard's family's wildlife, including cows, a pony, chickens, a peacock, and numerous dogs and cats (including his own killer cat). Went to Richard's sister's wedding reception, where people were inferring things about us (we are just friends, people! How hard is it for you to accept that!) Played chess, computer games, and video games (this car racing game on Playstation was the best!). Watched such shows as Power of Attorney, infomercials for SMG and laser vision correction, and New York news (Richard's grandmother gets satellite TV that shows NYC programming. Hilarious.) Froze (the AC was always blasting in that house). Ate a yummy brocolli, cauliflower, and macaroni thing. Went on trips to Walmart and the supermarket.

Pluses of Tennessee:
They sell buttermilk there. Lots. A bigger selection than they have up here. Low prices on everything from gas to groceries to housing. Jack in the Box, Long John Silver's, and Popeyes in metropolitan areas (didn't get to visit any - SNIFF!!!)

Minuses of Tennessee:
If you are not an uber-religious Southern Baptist, good luck! There is no religious diversity. Lack of culural & educational attractions. No ocean, of course. Southern accents. Those carsickness-inducing roads. No civilization for miles and miles. No medical care for miles and miles if you need it.

Livability factor:
Zero. You couldn't pay me enough to live there. But don't be offended, Tennesseans - being a northern urbanite is what I know and love.

What I am wearing: My Lituva long-sleeve tee. Lituva means "Lithuania," for those non-Lithuanian aficionados out there. (I am about 25% Lithuanian, and damn proud!) :) And red plaid pajama pants.

What I am listening to: Birds chirpin'. Awww.

How I am feeling: Happy to be home in beautiful, wonderful, civilized Mass.

News about Cambridge!

July 3, 2001

8:17 PM

Just had to share my exciting news about Cambridge! (This is not the main entry for today - go back and see that if you missed it. About my trip to Tennessee.) Anyway, the big news is that I have been accepted by Magdalene College! Beautiful place with medieval roots. And they have dinner in hall by candlelight! I really hope I can go. Still waiting on the darned financial aid.

Also in the thrilling-and-chilling department: I have a Cambridge e-mail address! It is I think the only function it can process right now is to store mail that is forwarded to it or something. But keep it in mind in case I go. :)

What I am wearing: Same as previous entry.

What I am listening to: Ditto.

How I am feeling: Happy, happy, happy.:)

Life goals - or something

July 5, 2001

2:02 AM

I dunno why, but today I was thinking about what my goals for life are (maybe I was feeling old :P). Anyway, some of them are:

- Learn how to play guitar. Guitar is just an awesome instrument. It, like the piano, is just one of those quintessential instruments that everyone should be able to play. I chose it over the piano 'cause it is far more portable. :) And better for singing along to (unless you are singing Christmas carols in a church or something. . .)

- Become fluent in Spanish. To me, Spanish is such a fab language. The second most important to an American after English. Not only is it fun and easy to learn (I got my "proficiency" from Penn with flying colors), but it has to be the sultriest language ever. No song is more romantic than a Spanish love song.

- Go on a cross-country roadtrip. There is so much of the country I still need to see - among my most wanted locations are the Maine coast, New Orleans, Chicago, St. Louis, Michigan's upper peninsula, Colorado, Nevada, California, and Oregon.

- See the world!! Most wanted countries there: unseen parts of Canada (Nova Scotia and PEI, especially. And Vancouver, BC), Mexico, Chile, Brazil, England, Scotland, Iceland, Germany, Spain, France, Italy, Lithuania, Russia, Greece, Aremenia, South Africa, China, Japan, Australia and New Zealand.

- Earn more degrees! Those would be grad degrees in Medieval Lit., either an M.Phil. at Cambridge or an M.Litt. at St. Andrews. Then it is on to law school, hopefully! Dream schools are Columbia and Chicago (I would say Harvard, but that would be a double dream :P). Realistic schools are Boston College, Boston University, San Diego and Pepperdine.

- Get a phat car. Yes, I have always wanted an awesome car. Maybe it's from growing up with horrid cars (nothin' worse than an avocado green '79 Plymouth Volare with half a grill, a door that doesn't open, no FM radio, no AC, etc.) Dream cars? I would love to have a Jag, Porsche or BMW. But I could also settle for a Lexus or Infiniti. Hey, I'm humble. :)

- Get a dog. Or a few. Most wanted breeds are German Shepherds, Bernese Mountain Dogs and Golden Retrievers.

- Get an awesome career. I think it would be *so* fun to do entertainment law. Entertainment law in the music industry, to be specific. But generic copyright law could be fun too. And of course, I would do tons of pro bono work, crusading for those at the lower end of the socioeconomic spectrum.

- Get married. Yes, even an uber-feminist like me dreams of marriage someday (even if my relations with men to date have been, uh, less than stellar. I will get over my belief that men are unfaithful slutty pigs, really I will). I am a Libra, and that lends to my romantic fanaticism. I am not too sure what my critera for ideal men are, but I can say that physically I like the combo of dark hair and light eyes. Yummy contrast. :) I also like taller-than-me-tallness (a "tall" order - excuse the horrible pun - for a girl who's 5'9"). Mentally, I am drawn to science types, since I am so hardcore humanities. I need balance. And I need a man who is very into music (including popular). Someone who isn't just wouldn't gel with me. And a baseball fan. And someone who can cook, at least a little bit, and teach me. And someone who is funny. And brave, 'cause I can be too if someone helps me bring it out.

- Live in MA! Well, since there is so much of the country I haven't seen, this might change a bit. I love MA for its 2 essential criteria: snow and ocean. I think places like Maine and California could also satisfy this, so we'll see.

Well, that is a big ol' list of goals, so I'd better stop now.

What I am wearing: Striped tee and pajama pants.

What I am listening to: Fireworks!! And this computer grindin'.

How I am feeling: Relaxed.

Cambridge! (Mass. this time)

July 6, 2001

2:58 AM

What a cool day. Today, thanks to my dad's vast knowledge of the Boston area, I got to check out some parts of the area I previously hadn't investigated.

The first stop was Blue Hill Avenue in Mattapan. Mattapan would be a fascinating case study for anyone interested in sociology or urban studies. An area that has experienced a great deal of "white flight" over the past few decades and now sports a rather homogeneous African American population, Mattapan seems to thrive and enjoy economic prosperity to an extent that similar areas (cf. Brockton) don't. Mattapan square, unlike downtown Brockton, bustles. It is cool.

Next stop: Jamaica Plain. Jamaica Plain is bizzare. Drive down the Jamaica Way and see million dollar homes (even a castle!); drive down a side street and see depressed triple deckers. I dunno how the neighborhood can maintain such a distinct dichotomy, but somehow it does. The Jamaica Way is such a beautiful drive.

Fenway! Yes, there was a drive through the Fenway area of Boston. Gotta love that Citgo sign. Went through Allston and a tad of Brighton, but don't remember 'em too well. Must not've been that memorable. :P

Cambridge!!! Not your average Cambridge, though. Instead of that typical moseying around Harvard Square, we checked out some new locales. Like Kendall Square, home of MIT and the famous dome. MIT is just gorgeous. Oh, to go to school there. . . Then we checked out East Cambridge, home of a sizable Portuguese population. I wish we'd had more time to spend there, because it was so cool; so anti-typical Cambridge. Then we headed over to the Lechmere side of Cambridge, where the fab Cambridgeside Galleria is. Awesome place - why can't we have malls like that on the South Shore?!?! Anyway, the evening concluded with a feast at the Cheesecake Factory. I guess this is a nationwide chain. The food was sooo good. I had some chicken and asparagus thing with great mashed potatoes (I am usually not a big mashed fan). Then Jennie and I split a piece of chocolate-peanut butter cheesecake. To die for! I was/am so stuffed.

Fun day. :) The moral of the story is to be a tourist in your own neck of the woods.

What I am wearing: Black v-neck tee, comfy Gap jeans, and my beloved Sauconys, Ohio's favorite sneaker (according to Richard).

What I am listening to: The fan. Why it is on in my room, I don't know. Whoever left it on will pay!

How I am feeling: Ready to rock! Anyone up for some fun at 2:58 AM?


July 7, 2001

1:03 AM

Haha, today my little sister went to see the Backstreet Boys at the Fleet Center. At first I thought she was just going because her friend's boyfriend refused to go and my sister felt bad for her friend and agreed to go. But my sister was crazy into it when she got home, brandishing a photo of Nick and playing BSB mp3s.

You gotta laugh, because the channel 56 news remarked on all the "preteen girls" that were at the BSB concert. My sister is 17 1/2. :P But it's all good.

People might even be justified in making fun of me soon, because I am seriously contemplating going to see Joey McIntyre (of NKOTB fame) and LFO at this free concert at the hatch shell on the esplanade tomorrow. It is sponsored by KISS 108 and free! How could I pass up free? We'll see if I wake up for it.

Oh, totally unrelated - just started reading The Respectful Prostitute by Jean-Paul Sartre, and it is really good. And *random.*

What I am wearing: Lavender tee, jeans, and no shoes.

What I am listening to: Ants Marching by DMB. Gets me nostalgic for concerts at Foxboro.

How I am feeling: Very, very energetic. Might be time for some jogging. :)

NKOTB reprise!!!

July 8, 2001

2:07 AM

Oh man, today was so cool. KISS 108 FM held a free concert at the Hatch Shell on the Esplanade in Boston. It featured LFO (of "Summer Girls" - i.e., the Abercrombie and Fitch song - fame) and Joey McIntyre, ex New Kid on the Block!

Not only was the venue gorgeous (overlooking the Charles River), but the concert was incredibly fun. Both LFO and Joey have Boston roots, so the atmosphere was amazing. LFO was crazy energetic with their set (even though it was only 5 songs!) and just really entertaining. Joey sang songs from his new solo album but, to my and a lot of other people's ultimate thrill, sang Hangin' Tough and a medley of other New Kids songs. Oh my goodness, picture tens of thousands of people in the year 2001 doing the Hangin' Tough arm wave and trademark New Kids dances. Wild! Oh, the nostalga. . .

Fab day. :)

What I am wearing: Not your typical concert uniform of tank top and shorts! (I burn, and burn bad - second degree sunburn at Dartmouth, baby!) Just wearing a brown tee and jeans.

What I am listening to: Hey Jealousy by the Gin Blossoms. Remember that song? Huge while I was in high school. And sooo good.


rather uneventful

July 9, 2001

3:06 AM

. . . characterizes my day today.

The only two things of note: 1) Bill called me (and my mom threw the phone in my face, waking me and forcing me to talk :P). He is living in Newton now, homesick, and wants to hang out one of these days.

2) Richard gave me the recipe for the broccoli, cauliflower and macaroni casserole thing. Sooooooo good. I am psyched.

What I am wearing: PJs. Same old, same old.

What I am listening to: Freshmen by The Vervepipe. This song was always really resonant for me, for whatever reason.

How I am feeling: Mellow.


July 11, 2001

3:27 AM

Today I was reading this website full of journal prompters. Everything is just soooo dull around here that I needed a suggestion of what to write about.

Well, this website posited "What is your theme song?" Interesting question indeed. One song that immediately came to mind is Ghetto Superstar. I thought it was perfect; I mean, I'm from the ghetto and I am a superstar. :) But then I realized that a better theme song for me is I Will Survive.

Why I Will Survive? It is definitely not my favorite song, but the essence and tone of the song is appropriate for how my life has been played out so far. Without divulging my life story to a huge and unmonitored audience, let's just say that I have had more than my fair share of emotional and physical trials. Life has not been easy at all, yet despite seemingly innumerable plights I always pull through. And it is not just that I pull through, but since I am such a private person, I usually pull through on my own (no one knows about all the crises that have transpired in my life, and several people know about some, but only after the fact). So yeah, some people may think it's dumb that I keep my torments largely to myself, but I think conquering them on my own makes me stronger. And a survivor, hence I Will Survive is appropos.

Wow, that is probably among the most personal entries ever to be seen in this journal. Don't get used to it. ;)

What I am wearing: I bet you can guess, so I'm not even tellin'.

What I am listening to: Silence.

How I am feeling: Introspective.

for posterity. . .

July 11, 2001

4:32 AM

Just had to post the most coveted job opportunity to come around in ages! From a Penn Career Services listserv:

"Spiritual farmer/caretaker. Plant fruit in sacred geometric patterns. Req handyman skills, rel exp. $100/wk, trailer provided. Resume/ltr to Penny Harper, PO Box 101, Hinkley, CA 92347."

I am so applying now. ;)

What I am wearing: see previous

What I am listening to: The fan, now. I got hot!

How I am feeling: Relaxed.

snobbery, and the question of intellectual pedigree

July 12, 2001

2:22 AM

The other day I got an email from my friend Rachel. We both started at Penn in the fall of 1997 but she graduated a year early. After spending a post-graduation year globetrotting and taking culinary lessons, she is about to enroll at Columbia Law School. She was telling me about how her cooking school comrades were "only able to discuss trout fishing" and that she misses the "pretentiousness" of the university setting, and can't wait to find people at Columbia to discuss Kantian philosophy with her.

This got me thinking: what is up with intellectual snobbery? Rachel knows that I think she's awesome and I bet some of her comments were in jest, but I still couldn't shake the idea. Richard loathes the dearth of intellectual conversation in his current environs. Even I feel like I am out of place around here sometimes. What gives?

I shudder to think that 4 (or 3 :P) years of college have caused my friends and I to become huge snobs who cannot converse with those "lesser" than us. Have we changed that much since August 1997? I almost find myself code-switching between a level of discourse that I carry on with academic types and a level of discourse that I carry on with non-academic types. It is craziness.

A tangential concern of mine is academic pedigree. A friend of mine from Brockton High got her undergrad degree from Harvard and is about to start a PhD program at Yale. Rachel is heading from Penn to Columbia. I could be heading from Penn to Cambridge. All predictable paths. When I found myself interested in Northeastern Law School earlier in the year, I found myself thinking "is Northeastern a good enough school?" Of course Northeastern is a good enough school, but somehow my Pennness has me jaded and condemning "lesser" schools. It's scary how Penn can confer this superiority complex. It's like I have this intellectual pedigree I have to live up to now, and only the highest quality schools are acceptable.

Argh, this snobbery terrifies me. I need to re-inject myself with humility. Someone help!!

What I am wearing: This bizzare outfit of half normal clothes, half pajamas. Gotta fix that.

What I am listening to: Smoke Gets in Your Eyes by The Platters. On a commercial.

How I am feeling: Contemplative.

Copley Square

July 13, 2001

12:54 AM

WOOHOO, Friday the 13th!

Well, today (today being July 12, of course; it's never *really* the next day until I go to sleep and wake up) I spent a good chunk o' the day in Copley Square. Part of the randomness to be had was a free concert by Duncan Sheik across the street from BPL (the Boston Public Library, for the uninitiated). By the time my sister and I got there we missed the only song I know of his (the I am Barely Breathing one) but oh well. At least we got to partake of the free carrot and tomato juice and Coolatta samples.

After the concert we wandered around BPL, which has to be the prettiest library ever (at least the prettiest I've seen). We checked out some fabulous artwork of scenes from the Holy Grail (yay, medievalism!), the Sargent murals, and other artsy stuff. Then after a quick run through the Pru we ate dinner at Uno's (yay, chicken and portabella mushrooms pizza!)

Recent reading: Dickens' Great Expectations. What an unexpected surprise! I thought I didn't appreciate books from this period, but this is a fab little (ok, big!) number. I am nine chapters through and entralled.

Recent listenings: I love! It allowed me to acquire these blasts from the past, all for between 75 cents and $2 (not including shipping): Everyone Else is Doing it, So Why Can't We? by The Cranberries, No Need to Argue by The Cranberries, Grave Dancers Union by Soul Asylum and Outside Looking In: The Best of the Gin Blossoms by, well, duh. I am excited to have begun amassing a collection of music I have long loved but long lacked. Hallelujah.

What I am wearing: Purple tee and jeans that I swear are getting shorter, even though they were long enough before. Either these jeans are shrinking or I am getting taller. . .

What I am listening to: Nothing, amazingly, after I listed all that new music. :P

How I am feeling: A little tired. Weird.

My 21 3/4 Birthday!

July 14, 2001

4:53 AM

Today is only important because it is my 21 3/4 birthday. :) (You would celebrate your 3/4 birthdays too, if you were born in October and everyone in your class was older than you [with the people born in November and December always defecting to the class below them, so they get to be the cool old ones while you're the dumb young one]). But I digress.

Today was just boring-oring-oring. The big highlight was when PNC Bank finally sent me the check for the $3.61 they were trying to embezzle from me. I showed them. ;)

Hopefully tomorrow (which is technically today) will be more exciting!

What I am wearing: Clothes about as interesting as this day has been (therefore, they don't merit discussion).

What I am listening to: Running to Stand Still by U2. In my head. Beautiful song.

She is raging
She is raging
And the storm blows up in her eyes
She will...
Suffer the needle chill
She's running to stand...

How I am feeling: Awesome, despite my boredom. Feel like I could run a marathon. Not sleepy at all, despite the fact that it's almost 5 AM.

the scary man diaries - a memoir

July 15, 2001

3:53 AM

Nothing interesting happened today so I figured I'd try to entertain my loyal readership with stories about the men I've dissed and dismissed. Yeah, I am a heartbreaker; I have to admit I've rejected a lot more men's advances than I've accepted. So, here we have - SCARY MEN!!

The Airport Guy - 1997/early 1998?
I forget which flight this was, either my Thanksgiving flight from Boston to Philly or my Christmas one. Anyway, I had just gotten my luggage from baggage claim and was heading out the door for the Lady Liberty Shuttle back to campus when this guy jumped right in my face. At first I thought it was the Lady Liberty guy 'cause he was in uniform so I handed him my bags. He took them and said, "the van is right over there" and pointed out the window. Then he asked me for a piece of paper. I gave it to him, figuring he needed it to write down my address. But I was really confused because he wasn't walking out to the van, and I think he sensed my confusion because he said "I would carry these out there for you but I'm not supposed to leave baggage claim." This was when I and my retarded self realized this guy was some random airport employee. He said "You're so cute, lemme give you my name and number" and I thought oh, no. . . I mean, he was cute, but I was kinda weirded out by this whole thing, his intercepting me en route to Lady Liberty and all. I blurted out "but I already have a boyfriend" (lie) and he said "that's OK" and that's when I knew he was trouble. I accepted his info and walked off as he yelled "You're gonna call me, right?" I never did.

The Gangsta Guy - Late 1998/Early 1999?
Sophomore year I used to tutor at Wilson Elementary at 47th and Woodland. Even though I am a brave chick sometimes I'd get scared walking to and from the place, especially since I was always alone and the neighborhood isn't the friendliest. One day I was walking home after tutoring and I saw this group of guys is their late teens/early 20s walking toward me. They were not the most clean cut group of guys but whatever, I wasn't really fazed. Our paths crossed and right afterwards one of them yelled "Hey!" I turned around instinctively and the one who yelled began to approach me. He was smiling sketchily and asked me "What are you doing out here?" and I told him and he said "I'd like to meet up with you again sometime, one on one." This guy was not appealing at all and I was pretty horrified, and as I sensed the inevitable approach, he asked "What's your name? Can I get your digits?" As he whipped out a datebook I told him my name was Jessica and that my number was 222-something. I was so hoping that my tall tale was believable! He said "Thanks, Jess - can I call you that? I'll call you tonight" and he and his gangbanger type friends walked away. But oh, I totally forgot to cover my arse - my backpack has my initials, KVA, monogrammed on it! Needless to say, I hightailed it outta there!

The Concert Guy - Summer 1999
That summer my little sister and I went to see Dave Matthews Band at Foxboro Stadium. The crowd here was sultrier than most, and I was pretty weirded out. But my sis and I took our seats, and I was at the end of an aisle. During first song into the show, this guy comes over to me and whispers into my ear "You're hot - wanna grind with me all night long?" and yup, you guessed it, started grinding with me. I had no idea how to get rid of this guy; all I knew was that I did not wanna grind with him. I figured he would get bored with the unreciprocrated grinding but this went on for a good, weird, 5 minutes. Suddenly his buddy came over and asked him if he wanted to get some beer and he whispered to me "I'll be back!" but he never came back. Thank goodness!

The Wharton PhD Guy - January 2001
So yeah, most of you guys know how insanely hard my thesis class was. On one of the first days back from winter vacation, my prof asked us for annotated bibliographies. Of course I had no books, so the night before I hiked over to Van Pelt to check some random stuff out. There was this guy in the aisle (there's never anyone in the medieval and Renaissance aisles!) and I was trying to get my books but he was kinda blocking the way. He asked me "Is there something I can help you with?" and I figured he was a library employee, so I showed him my list. He asked me if I was a graduate student, what I was studying, all this stuff. . . pretty soon it was evident he was not a library employee! He had what I thought was a Russian accent, and sure enough, he told me he was from Latvia. He was a Wharton PhD student who was looking for books on his secret passion, Shakespeare. Well, I'm sure you guys are thinking that he and I were star-crossed lovers and meant for each other and all that, but I had kinda this uneasy feeling about him - especially when he expressed distress that I would be graduating in only a few months. It was then that I thought he was sizing me up for marriage prospects or something, and he was seeming creepier and creepier (although he was kinda cute, but oldish - maybe even 30!) We exchanged e-mail addresses, he e-mailed me 2 or 3 times, but I never responded. Michelle chastized me for not giving him a chance. I dunno. He definitely wasn't "the one who got away," but he might've been all right. Guess I'll never know. But he was still scary enough to be incorporated into this list!

The Subway Guy - April 2001
One day I was shopping for something or other at the Gallery (it might've been the dress for the band semi or something) and I was taking the Blue Line towards home (40th and Market). The car was pretty packed and a couple of stops into the ride this *cute* guy sat next to me. His friend sat across from him and they were talking in Spanish about sports. After they finished that conversation the guy in my seat turned to me and asked me what happened to my hand (I still had the cast on it). I told him about my broken wrist and he seemed so sympathetic. A few seconds later he moved closer to me in the seat (I think he tried to masterfully coincide this with the boarding of people at another stop so I'd think he was just moving over so people could get by, but he never moved back). Anyway, he leaned over looking all sultrily at me and asked "Can I go home with you?" I couldn't help but giggle at the absurdity and that obviously did not help the situation as he pressed on "Come on, please?" I finally told him no (how creepy to take someone home off the subway with you!) but he asked again. I told him no again, and at 40th Street I told him I had to get off. He asked me once more, I told him no once more, and added "It was nice meeting you, though." He looked all sad and said "All right" and I got off.

The Street Guy - May 2001
So I was walking home from occupational therapy on this gorgeous day. I was on 38th Street, heading from Walnut to Spruce. This old guy was heading toward me and I didn't think much of it. As we passed each other, he yelled out "You look like a June bride!" I have no idea what this means, but anyone who has any sort of interpretation please let me know! (Obviously I did not get married this June.)

So there you have it, stories about the scariest guys from my past. Scary men appear to be a trend in my life, so I'm sure you'll be hearing more in the time ahead! :P

What I am wearing: Blue shirt & happy jeans. :)

What I am listening to: Bootylicious by Destiny's Child. How appropos! ;)

How I am feeling: Silly. Can't help it after thinking about these crazy men!

misty passports

July 16, 2001

4:32 AM

Part of the big excitement today consisted of going to Walgreens to get my passport photos taken. This was pretty funny because it took the guy like 10-15 minutes to take the photo the first time. He kept getting closer to me, farther away from me, to the side, to the center, etc. After the photo developed he decided that my head was tilted so he needed to take it again. The next time it took it about 5 minutes to take the photo. I dunno what the problem was but lemme tell ya, it is mad hard tryin' to hold a smile for 10-15 minutes! Luckily the photos came out rather good (especially for an unphotogenic person like me) so that was cool. But jeez, next time I hope it does not take eons to take my pic.

The excitement on the home front today was The Mists of Avalon on TNT! This movie is soooooo awesome!! Basically it is the Arthurian Legend told 1) from a female point of view, 2) from the legend's origination in the Dark Ages and 3) with particular emphasis on Pagan/Christian tension. It's got Uther and Arthur, Viviane and Morgaine, Lancelot and Guinivere. . . everyone watch the conclusion (it is in two parts) tonight at 8! It is sumptuous, fascinating, extraordinary (and I don't say that just because I am a fan of Arthuriana)!

That's about all for now. :)

What I am wearing: Clothes that are not nearly as cool as the ones on Mists!

What I am listening to: Every Other Time by LFO is stuck in my head. That song is too catchy, but it wouldn't be nearly so without all the na na na nas. :P

How I am feeling: Chill. Calm. Yeah.


July 18, 2001

6:44 AM

It is 6:44 AM, and I am still up. And online. This is whacked, even for me.

Someone save me from myself. . .

What I am wearing: Comfy Penn hooded sweatshirt.

What I am listening to: Matt IMing me. We are keeping each other company in our insanity.

How I am feeling: Whacked.

sigh (aka the story of my life)

July 19, 2001

2:39 AM

Poor, smart people should never, ever apply to grad school.

Because they will get in but not be able to pay for it.


What I am wearing: That turquoise tee with the smiley face with the tongue sticking out. And red plaid pj bottoms.

What I am listening to: The sound of myself typing.

How I am feeling: Sad.

Southie & School

July 20, 2001

2:07 AM

Yay, I am happy to report that I am feeling much better today than yesterday. :)

My main excursion for today was a voyage to Southie. Southie, or South Boston, is a section of Boston that is really neat because it is down to earth and residential in an un-upscale way (basically, if you know me, you know what I'm talking about, and you know I'd enjoy that :)). Southie is also predominantly Irish-American, and believe me, if you are not of that lineage, you are an outsider!! (I, with my brown-eyed, brunette self, was screamin' foreigner. . .)

Despite my un-Irishness, chillin' in Southie was fun. I walked for about a mile along the ocean (gorgeous views) toward Castle Island. Then I came to Fort Independence. (Check out that link; it is a great aerial view!) While I was exploring the place (not knowing it was called Fort Independence :P) I assumed it used to be a prison. My Philly friends might be interested to know that the place really reminded me of Eastern State Penitentiary - Fort Independence had low overheads, narrow tunnels (blocked off from public access by menacing stacks of chairs), and steep ascents. Unlike Eastern State, it appeared to be in rather good condition, and the exterior portions were largely accessible to the public. My dad and I checked it out (as much as we could under the watchful eyes of the old guard people who would usher us from place to place) and then headed over to Sullivan's (bastion of Irishness! I swear all the employees were related) for chicken nuggets and ice cream.

After getting the exploration bug out of my system, I went home and checked my e-mail. To my happiness, there was an e-mail from Cambridge saying that decisions on the trusts are made between June and August, and since there were tons of applications this year, the process may take a bit. So yay, I am not out of the running. Also, yesterday I found out that I was accepted to St. Andrews. No info on the Ransome scholarship for that, though, but since I was so traumatized by what I went through with Cambridge I think I will just sit tight and see what happens. :)

Oh, and tonight on PBS, there was this cool show called Secrets of the Dead. I always used to dis PBS but this show was really cool! They were trying to solve the mystery of this dude's remains that were found at Stonehenge. Turns out he was an Anglo-Saxon dude executed during the 600s (AD), and the host was meeting with archaeologists, weapon experts, and carbon dating peeps to try to get to that conclusion during the show. I don't wanna brag, but within the first 15 minutes of the show I had it all figured out (and the host thought it was a Roman guy - haha!). I love a good mystery, especially an Anglo-Saxon one. :)

What I am wearing: This crazy Aztec-lookin' robe 'cause I am freezin'.

What I am listening to: Elena by LFO. Jennie got me on the LFO kick.

How I am feeling: Happy. :)

what I miss about Penn

July 22, 2001

4:25 AM

Yeah, so I had many issues with the superficiality and materialism at Penn, but there are still things I miss about it, especially comparing it to rotting away at home in Brockton. In no particular order, they are:

1) My room in Mayer. That room was the bomb! It was huge, the bed was all flying off the ground, it had 2 closets, it had my own private bathroom, and most amusing of all, it had the Exorcist phone to nowhere above the kitchen sink that hissed demonically when you picked it up. So there was a roach problem, as in all of Mayer (which I handled marvelously, I might add) - at least it was better than the insane mouse problem I endured for 3 years in Stouffer!

2) Falling out of my room at all hours of the day (and night) and having Wawa appear at my feet. Never again will I live in such close proximity to a convenience store, where I could purchase all the essentials: Tropicana OJ (almost always with Pulp, but in dire moments, the pulpless kind), Evian, Slim Jims, Salt and Vinegar chips, Cherry Pepsi, Mountain Dew, and. . .

3) The Wawa meatball sub. Sorry, that needs its own entry. That is the finest sub ever made.

4) My friends, the people I studied with, performed with, played with, drank with, and bonded with so well, especially those who rivaled me in nocturnalness. I miss you all insanely. We should all live together in a happy compound. :)

5) The English department. If I ever get any money in this life, there are three places it's going to at Penn: 1. financial aid initiatives, 2. the Penn Band, and 3. the English Department. That department singlehandedly gave my academic future direction and meaning at a time when it sorely needed it. I love Penn English!

6) Professor Wallace. The best Professor ever! Incredibly humble, incredibly renowned, incredibly awesome. Made me the medievalist, un-premed I am today.

7) Professor Copeland. The second best professor ever. Helped solidify my love in all things medieval, and drifted me into classics. And taught me ancient to modern literary theory like I know no one else could.

8) The Penn Band. Wow, it is hard to describe what this organization has meant to me. It has made my personal life richer in so many ways, and introduced me (in largely indirect ways) to so many things. Jeez, that was vague. Lemme put it this way: it made me worldly. It made me cultured (well, about as cultured as a girl like me gets). It made me mature. In a secondary way it was also fun to play trumpet and drums there. :)

9) Cheese fries. Mmm.

10) That fried chicken platter at Abner's.

11) The Crepe truck, and especially the garlic, chicken, broccoli, spinach, etc. crepe. To die for!

12) Bulletproof KFC at 43rd and Market!!

13) That bathroom in the basement of Bennett hall. That gets my vote for best bathroom on campus. Nice and spacious, and no one's ever down there. (Until now, I guess!) Far less huge but also pleasant is the bathroom in Logan. It's all new and stuff.

14) That fancy room on the 6th floor of Van Pelt where my thesis class met. They should hold classes in fancy rooms more often.

15) That freezing lounge in the quad where we watched anime and dodged bugs crawling everywhere. There was something oddly endearing about it. . .

16) The shady back row in Latin class!! There were no games, but there was rebellion. ;)

17) Franklin Field. Nothing like running around and acting like a fool in front of thousands of people. And throwing toast is incredibly cathartic.

18) The button, bastion of Chopdom, and where Arthur and I got it on. Well, at least on that survey game we played during that roadtrip. :)

19) The old Houston Hall, complete with Burger King. sigh. . .

20) The old strip on 38th between Walnut and Spruce, with the breakfast place, the old bookstore, and the painted advertisements on the walls, which has long been knocked down so Wharton can bulid some dumb thing. double sigh. . .

21) Circa, at 20thish and somethin'. What a restaurant! And only I could make such a fool outta myself there. I pulled out my own chair (whoops! who knew I was supposed to wait for the waiter?), ate my salad with the wrong fork (thus eating dinner with the wrong fork. . .) Moral: you can take the girl outta the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto outta the girl!

22) Serrano, somewhere in Old City. I burn for their rainbow trout!!! And their bloody mary was mad yummy too.

23) The British restaurant in Chestnut Hill. Fish and chips! Tea! Britishness!!

24) The riverfront. Good times, good times.

25) Traversing the length of the city on foot. Did this lotsa times. Loved it.

26) Michelle's house, between 40th and 41st on Spruce. Fun place. Especially the porch, where we would shoot the breeze and people watch for hours.

27) High Rise East. I knew so many people there. Some crazy times went down in that place.

28) Brunch at the Art Museum on Sunday mornings.

29) "Workin'" in the English Office.

30) Furness library. To look at the prettiness, freeze, and occasionally study Greek.

31) English 60. What a ridiculous class in which no work was ever done but a fun time was had by all.

Yikes, I'd better stop now; the nostalgia is overwhelming! Maybe I did like some things about Penn. :)

What I am wearing: A striped tee and jeans.

What I am listening to: Not Sorry by the Cranberries. I love Dolores O'Riordan's take no prisoners attitude.

How I am feeling: Nostalgic.


July 24, 2001

5:21 AM

Jennie and I saw Legally Blonde today (and we would've been the only ones in the entire theater, but a group of 4 people showed up just as the movie was starting. Gotta love the bustling metropolis of East Bridgewater). Anyway, this movie was awesome! It was less cheesy than I thought, and even though the plot was more than a little cliche, the movie's mad funny nuances made up for it. My favorites, without giving much of anything away: the commentary on the replacement word for "semester" (that has to be the funniest thing in a movie I've seen in a very long while. Legally Blonde is worth seeing just for this comment), how one of the witnesses in the murder trial was discovered to be lying, and the subplot romance of the manicurist. Funny stuff.

In other blond news today, my sister enlisted my help in highlighting her hair with this L'Oreal kit. It is insane: the kit comes with tons of powders and creams to mix together (can anyone say "obsessed with high school chemistry?"), a scary implement that looks like a mutant crochet hook, a plastic cap with holes in it, and a plastic bag (just like the kind that suffocates babies) to put over your head. Talk about retardation. After my sister put on the holey cap I had to try to yank chunks of her hair out using the torturous hook thingy. I had no luck with this, but my mom helped. Then my sister mixed all that smelly lotion and potion crap together and I got to slather it all over her head. That was kinda fun, if asphyxiating. Then my sister adorned the plastic bag o' death, and 20-odd minutes later, rinsed the stuff out of her hair. I guess I will get to see the finished product tomorrow/today.

Oh, and this isn't related to blondness at all, but I had this idea - if Cambridge and St. Andrews fall through, I could teach English in Korea or Taiwan for a month. Wouldn't that be awesome? We'll see how my life pans out.

What I am wearing: This cute olive green and red checked shirt I stole from Jennie. And jeans. I feel all preppy.

What I am listening to: Some crazed thing in my room thrash. I think it might be a huge insect of some sort, but I can't find it anywhere.

How I am feeling: Relaxed.

my wrist is awesome

July 25, 2001

5:43 AM

This news is really from yesterday, but since I forgot (how could I?) and since today was not newsworthy, here it is: at occupational therapy my therapist told me that typically a good amount of backward bending motion for my wrist (picture how your wrist looks when doing push-ups or something) would be 40 degrees, since I sustained such a horrific injury. Well, amazingly, my wrist can bend back at a 75 degree angle! All I can say is, my wrist is awesome. I am awesome. Yay. :)

What I am wearing: Sufficient garments to deal with the heat. ;)

What I am listening to: Nothing officially, but I have that Area Codes song by Ludacris stuck in my head. What a horrible song. Yeah right, he's got "prose" in different area codes. . . :P

How I am feeling: Happy.

Stem Cell Dilemmer

July 26, 2001

3:19 AM

All right all you smarties, I know you're out there! I need help wrestling with my latest dilemmer: stem cell research.

It seems that every newspaper article I read, every TV news broadcrast I see, every smidgeon of media proclaims that one can be only one of two things: pro-choice and for stem cell research, or pro-life and against stem cell research.

Well, my friends, if I accept this, this leaves me in the twilight zone!!!! Although college has tempered my conservativeness, I have my pro-life stance (barring rape or incest) staunchly intact. At the same time, I think it makes a great deal of sense for medical research to be performed on otherwise trash-ready surplus embryos from fertility clinics. What is the sense of wasting something you're just gonna hurl anyway?

So yeah, what am I supposed to do? Society tells me my views are not valid choices. Maybe I will defect to the Bermuda Triangle, where everything is unexplained. Like me.

What I am wearing: A grey Nike tee and pajama pants.

What I am listening to: IMs from various nocturnal souls.

How I am feeling: Toasty! Maybe I should put a fan on.


July 27, 2001

5:01 AM

Today was a nasty, rainy day but I made the most of it by checking out Scholars' bookstore in Bridgewater center. This is a phat place that sells everything from used textbooks to used random books to anime things to Magic: The Gathering cards to all kinds of wizards/fantasy/SCA stuff to toy action figures.

You gotta appreciate independent booksellers because they are just so out there. The help was creepy and the only other customer was some old dude, but they had some cool finds. I picked up the Norton critical edition of Voltaire's Candide, the Norton critical edition of Boccaccio's Decameron, the Penguin classics edition of Cervantes' Don Quixote and - get ready for this, the biggest score of all - a one-of-a-kind Penguin classics edition of The Owl and the Nightingale, Cleanness, and St. Erkenwald edited by Brian Stone that is currently out of print! And it only cost me a dollar! In fact, the whole bunch of books only cost around $11 after tax.

After I made off with those goods I decided to go over and check out Bridgewater State College, 'cause I'd never been there and so many people from Brockton High go there. BSC has a really pretty campus and some gorgeous buildings. Nice place.

What I am wearing: Light blue tee and jeans.

What I am listening to: Silence.

How I am feeling: Accomplished after my raid of the finest literary works in Bridgewater. :)

North End & Voltaire

July 30, 2001

4:49 AM

Seemingly incongruous entities. . . haha! Not in this entry!

I've decided that I must've been Italian in a past life. People mistake me for having Italian ancestry, and since I just discovered my English ancestry, who knows what secrets my Euromuttness hides? Anyway, my thoughts on things Italian were provoked by my attending the Festival of St. Joseph in the North End of Boston on Saturday.

The North End is Boston's Italian-American stronghold (a nice opposite to the Irish-American South End, eh?) Every weekend during the summer the North End hosts a festival honoring a different saint. Check out this link for pretty pictures (very accurate depictions!). There are vendors selling calamari, cannolis, and trinkets from the Old World, raffles, a statue of the saint being honored decked out in dollar bills, and lots of people mulling around.

While this event is fun, the true charm of the North End lies in its everyday functioning. Old guys sit in groups reminiscing about the old days, and husbands and wives stand on streetcorners quarreling in Italian (there is still more English heard outside than Italian, though). Alas, I didn't see the old lady who used to sit on her porch steps and sell lemonade (I last saw her in the late 80s, and she was at least 80 years old then). The ambiance is very much like older sections of Philly: houses right on top of each other, narrow alleys, cobblestones, etc. It is the only part of Boston I can think of that looks really old. The main drags like Hanover Street feature restaurant upon restaurant, but they are not cheap - the average price for entrees is around $15, and many a restaurant offers entrees in the $25-30 range. And the owners are very eager to market their food (AAAA, Wharton insurgency!). As my dad and I were eying the English portion of the menu posted outside the Dolce Vita restaurant, the proprietor came out and asked "Are you hungry?" My dad replied "Yes" and the proprietor responded "Well, come on in! This is my home. If you don't like the food, you don't have to pay for it." But my dad balked (I knew it was because of the restaurant priceyness, but my dad told the proprietor that he was still "making the rounds") and the proprietor said something like "Buono, ciao." My dad thinks he thought we were Italian. Who knows?

Oh, also of interest in the North End is the Old North church where Paul Revere did his thing (whatever that was; I am not that big on history) and I think the first Italian-American church in the US (1873).

Besides that trip to the North End, I have been relaxing and doing a lot of reading. Today I voraciously poured through the Boston Globe (the articles I thought were the most interesting were on the extensive system by which Guatemalan coffee farmers are exploited, and how Dartmouth is offering freshmen free housing if they defer their matriculation for a year). I also read Candide and its backgrounds and criticism. That is a fun little book. I like how you can read it on a surface level as some sort of whacked travelogue or sit there and theorize about it. I also like how it is short, therefore nicely accomodating my ADD. Yay for Voltaire. Maybe I should read more 18th century French stuff. But I fear that century, since I loathe the British works I've read in it. heehee

What I am wearing: The Lithuania shirt and pajama pants.

What I am listening to: The fan. And I have Here with Me by Dido stuck in my head.

How I am feeling: Happy.

cold pizza & Don Quixote

August 1, 2001

4:05 AM

'Bout to go downstairs and eat cold pizza (I get to choose from spinach and broccoli or mushroom and olive) and read some more of Cervantes' Don Quixote. I am only 50 pages into it but I already think it's one of the coolest books I've ever read. Only like 900 more pages to go! :)

What I am wearing: Grey tee that is too big, my favorite jeans, and Birks.

What I am listening to: All I Want by Toad the Wet Sprocket is stuck in my head.

How I am feeling: Smiley. :)


August 2, 2001

5:21 AM

Today I got a bunch of paperwork from Cambridge's Faculty of English about the Med/Ren MPhil. Surprisingly, this is the first substantive info I've received on the content of the course (I guess they are pretty secretive over there!). Alas, getting this MPhil would not be a cakewalk. There are lots and lots of classes to attend (on everything from obscure Middle English texts to intensive medieval Latin), exams on paleography and codicology, two huge essays to complete on stuff from the classes, and then the big, huge dissertation at the end. And maybe an oral exam if I am a "marginal" case. heehee. Then I get to decide whether I want to continue on to the PhD. Fun, fun!

Really though, it is exciting. Cambridge might just be the most hardcore place to study medieval lit. in the world. I could also take classes in classics, art history, history, religious studies, etc. And Magdalene College is beautiful. How awesome it would be to go. Funding, come!!

On an unrelated note, tomorrow I am going to the dentist. Last time I was there I got to see this sultry, gorgeous dentist. And he was a Penn grad!! He even shook my hand. :) I must not have been that glamorous, though all sprawled out in the chair with blood caked all over me. Oh, well. Perhaps there will be a second chance. . . ;)

What I am wearing: This sea-green tank top. Everyone who has seen me in it has complimented me on it. Yay. :)

What I am listening to: Someone to Call My Lover by Janet Jackson.

How I am feeling: Relaxed and less sleepy than I was a couple of hours ago. Dentist in just 3 hours!

Dentist, Diploma, and Shakespeare on the Common

August 3, 2001

12:58 PM

Wow, an afternoon entry. . . is this a first?

Anyway, 3 major things happened yesterday. In the order in which they occurred:

Dentist: Sultry, gorgeous dentist was not there. Alas. So I just got a run-of-the-mill teeth cleaning. And I was told to try to get my wisdom teeth out. Something like that would've totally scared me a year ago, but after having smashed my hand and going to the two surgeries to restore its function, nothing can faze me anymore.

Diploma: I got my diploma from Penn!! It is pretty, and written completely in Latin. The only thing more pompous would've been to have it written in Ancient Greek. :P But it is cool. My mom was like "I'm so proud of my daughter getting a diploma I can't even read!" heehee

Shakespeare on the Common: My dad and I went to a free performance of Twelfth Night by the Commonwealth Shakespeare Company on lovely Boston Common. It was great! Tons more people were there than I thought would be, especially with the Red Sox in town and all. The cast had some really talented people, especially the people who played Feste and Maria. Oh, and bonus - I got to pee in the new Loews movie theatre by Boston Common!! I don't think they were supposed to let unpaying people in, but I really had to pee and was really polite to the ticket taker guy so he let me in. Yay. :) Besides, I am such an upstanding citizen - I coulda gone into any of the screens since I was past the guard. But I am good.

What I am wearing: The purple tee I love to death.

What I am listening to: Start the Commotion by The Wiseguys.

How I am feeling: Hot! And for me to consider it to be hot, it has to be *really* hot. (I have a high hot tolerance.)


August 5, 2001

7:30 AM

So, Friday my parents decided to get lobster since it was on sale for $3.99 a pound at Market Basket. I didn't really know what to make of this, being 21-going-on-22 and never having had lobster and all. But I was willing to give it a shot.

After this whole thing, I realized that if there is one thing that can drive me to vegetarianism, it is lobster. It was sad enough going to the market and getting a bunch of "live and kicking" lobsters in a plastic bag. I mean, I have eaten plenty of animals in my day, but there is something troubling about getting a live animal and killing it yourself for food.

But yeah, my parents had eaten lobster before but had never prepared it before so the process was kinda experimental. I waited in the dining room while my parents did the dirty work in the kitchen. Then they brought out the cooked lobster on a platter and its antennae were all dangling on the table and I was more than a little disturbed. But my dad cracked the claws off and proceeded to let me, him, and my mom try it (my vegetarian sister was nowhere to be found). I thought it had a really tough texture, like an uber scallop or something, and didn't taste all nice and soft like fish. My mom and I were also kinda disturbed at how the lobster was oozing dark green juice all over the platter. We found out later that that one had been undercooked (OOPS!), but none of us died, so it's all good. I later tried some of the lobster that was completely cooked and, although the texture was a little more pleasing than the first, it was no less palatable. My dad ended up eating 99.75% of the three lobsters.

What I am wearing: My Hey Day tee and jeans.

What I am listening to: The Meaning of Life by The Offspring is happily blaring in my head. Gotta dig that CD outta the garage.

How I am feeling: I have that post-run blissful feeling.

dearth of entries

August 10, 2001

6:59 PM

Yeah, there has been a lamentable dearth in my amount of postings lately. To be honest, there has been a lot of contention around here lately and it's not too good for my soul. Like any true Libran, I detest conflict, but my surroundings have been brimming with it lately. Writing generally proves cathartic for me, so I'm hoping this entry (vague as it is for y'all out there) will help put to bed the discord.

Oh, and there was an amazing thunderstorm today. Days and days of high 90-degree temps and then a spectacular, tremendous, and short-lived thunderstorm, the most dramatic I have seen in my life. It was almost like this thunderstorm was the physical/metaphorical manifestation of all this crap I'm dealing with and, in its culmination and passing, things will be on the upswing.

Let's hope so, anyway.

What I am wearing: Half PJs, half regular clothes.

What I am listening to: Cars driving through puddles.

How I am feeling: Distraught.


August 15, 2001

3:25 AM

You know when you really, really count on someone to do something for you and then they fall through on multiple occasions? And these things they are supposed to be doing are ridiculously important?

Oh, the torment to which I am subjected. . .

What I am wearing: Horrendously mismatched pjs.

What I am listening to: Chunks of the Bush songs Glycerine and Straight No Chaser are eerily repeating over and over in my head. It goes something like:

We live in a wheel
Where everyone steals
But when we rise it's like strawberry fields
It's all
In the way we know that we could have it all
Some satellites of pain can't always be ignored
War on all sides
War on all sides

How I am feeling: Betrayed, jaded, etc. I think I need to park myself by the ocean for a while and clear my mind.


August 21, 2001

6:39 PM

Yup, everything is better than it was before. :) It is sweet how people worry about me. I would've written sooner, had I not encountered innumerable problems, from my sister taking her computer in to get an ethernet card installed to a reckless driver knocking out some transistor and leaving me without a telephone line for 2 days.

The past several days have been all right. Checked out Providence Place, perhaps the poshest mall ever (although King of Prussia *might* have it beat). It is weird to see this glorious mall rising out of vestiges of lost industrialism (i.e., a depressed area featuring a massive bombed-out factory building). The mall and the factory building were literally juxtaposed in this almost macabre way. But it was disturbing and hopeful at the same time. Bought some jeans and tops and these awesome, cranberry-colored suede clogs from J. Crew. I like clogs. :)

Other than that it is just the agonizing wait with Cambridge over scholarship money from the Overseas Trust. I think I can rule out getting the Ransome Scholarship from St. Andrews - that was probably way more competitive than I thought. But I e-mailed St. Andrews anyway just to check. I think I get distressed over having an uncertain future. All my life I've had a plan and things are just so up in the air right now that it troubles me. But it'll be OK.

What I am wearing: Brown tee and jeans.

What I am listening to: My dad frying something in the kitchen. It smells nice, whatevah it is.

How I am feeling: A lot better than I was before! But still a tad concerned about life.

facing my demons (or, "cocktails and barbecue on the beach")

August 23, 2001

11:27 PM

If you know me you have heard of my traumatic ordeal with the Penn Club of Boston prefrosh picnic in Dover that fateful August day in 1997. So when the invitation appeared for a Penn Club of Cape Cod event tonight I was gonna run and hide, right?

Nope. I was all over it, in true Katie style. ;)

My motivation was partly to conquer my demons about Penn alumni events, and partly to get out and socialize with "intellectual" people. The people here were very, very nice (much to my amazement!!) No snobbery to be seen. I with my newly-minted degree was the youngest person there, in a crowd that ranged from like 1940s alums to an alum from 1997 (not counting me). The location was at the Cabana Club of the Popponesset Inn (I am prolly spelling that wrong. No, not "inn," "Popponesset!" :P) Right upon the gorgeous, gorgeous ocean in Mashpee (aka, "New Seabury" - this place was wild, like its own compound closed off from the rest of the world). I woulda dove right into the water, had I not been decked out in pantyhose. heehee, it was fun being quasi-antagonistic in my fall-colored ensemble (hey, I love that beige and crimson skirt!) and pantyhose with fisherman sandals. But I will forever march to my own whacked drummer. :)

So I talked with some genuinely nice people, and was fortunate to meet some very cool women who were classy, witty and inspirational. I wanna be like them when I grow up. :)

Nice day.

What I am wearing: My scandalous ensemble as described (in part) above.

What I am listening to: Various stuff by The Doors.

How I am feeling: Happy.

profound sadness

September 12, 2001

11:04 PM

Well, I have not written in this thing for weeks (I got lazy, and my computer - which I am forced to use, now that my sister took hers up to NH - is incredibly slow), but I feel that this situation clearly warrants it.

On September 11, 2001, I got up early (9 AM) so that I could call Cambridge and ask what I should do about my financial aid situation. As I was about to go downstairs, my mother (who was already there) screamed "a plane flew into the World Trade Center!" By the time I got downstairs, a second plane had flown into the second of the twin towers, and I stood in horror as the buildings burned. People on the top floors appeared to be waving curtains to dissipate the smoke and flames and eventually they went motionless. I saw the 2 towers eventually crumble into the ground, and watched as people jumped from windows. I saw the Pentagon in flames, and the wreckage of the plane that crashed in Somerset, PA. I never watch TV, but I was riveted to the TV for 10 hours straight as everything unfolded. I never ended up calling Cambridge that day. Or today. Everything just seems so trivial now.

Elements of the tragedy hit home because the 2 doomed flights that crashed into the twin towers originated in Boston, where I have boarded many a flight. Additionally, I have a close friend who lives in LA (where the flights were intended to travel) and 2 of my close friends spent the summer working in Manhattan. So while I was not directly connected, as far as I know, to anyone on the flights or in the buildings, I am profoundly affected by everything that has happened. I haven't left the house since the attack, haven't washed my hair, haven't gotten any previously planned work done. I wish there was something I could do but I feel so far away. . .

I dunno how long I will feel out of it; I feel like I am in some sort of indirect mourning for people I don't even know. Perhaps I am.

What I am wearing: A Penn sweatshirt and a Laura Ashley skirt. My hair is still in yesterday's French braid.

What I am listening to: The TV, which I can hear from downstairs. Everyone here has been watching coverage of the tragedy almost nonstop.

How I am feeling: Sad.

harrowing misadventures of a humanities BA job seeker

October 10, 2001

1:20 AM

Due to the huge fiasco that was my funding application to Cambridge (my professor either didn't send the recommendation there, or Cambridge got it and lost it) I did not receive a funding decision before the start of the academic year (and still haven't, for that matter :P). So that meant I had to begin a serious job search.

I don't think there could be anything harder than trying to get a job fresh out of college with a humanities degree. People say, oh, you went to an Ivy League school. You graduated with Latin honors and honors in one of your majors. You had two majors. You've had eleven jobs in the course of your life. Oh, well; those don't help me!!! It is bordering on immpossible to get an entry level job with my qualifications.

That said, I managed to secure an interview this past Monday with Saluti Cahn and Company, a teeny (and by teeny, I mean it consists of 4 employees!) financial consulting firm located in a brownstone in beautiful Kenmore Square, Boston (on the BU campus). I had responded to an ad for an "entry level technical writer" in the Boston Globe. So, that morning I set out for Boston on the commuter rail, listening to the dude across from me telling his seat mate about his "high end coffee carafe that cost $39.99 from Crate and Barrel." The Red Line (subway) was even more bizarre, as a little old man started playing You are My Sunshine on his keyboard as I walked by. Trippy.

As everything I seem to encounter in my life, Saluti Cahn's office ended up being insane, too. One girl dressed in jeans and a tee answered the door (I found out later jeans are acceptable in the office). The boss, a Colonel in the Army Reserve, and his wife (they did not start out as husband and wife, but co-workers - SKETCH ALERT #1) greeted me and ushered me into their swanky conference room thingy.

Oh, I should preface this all by saying that I was told in a phone call prior to the interview to wear a "normal skirt suit." I was pissed that I couldn't wear pants (because it was like 30 degrees and snowing that morning!!!), so I decided to be antagonistic as usual and don an avant-garde yet modest green Harve Benard suit with a long skirt (haha! I bet they wanted a short skirt. Yet it was still a skirt) and loafers with a stacked heel.

So the boss dude checked out my garb and said "I really like the suit. . . I would ditch the chunky shoes, though." What an unexpected reaction! He explained about the company's work, and told me that "this (the technical writing job) is definitely a woman's job." What?? Was he being blatantly sexist?? (SKETCH ALERT #2) He proceeded to ask me for a copy of my resume and, upon seeing my GPA, asked "what brought you down?" I was totally offended because I brought my GPA up .9 since freshman year, but calmly explained my shady premed past. He proceeded to ask me about my education and at the end proclaimed, "I think you are a superstar" (what the?? - SKETCH ALERT #3), applauded my acceptance to Cambridge, and explained that since I went to such a good school he would not have to ask me my SAT scores. He also confided that out of the "hundreds" of resumes he'd received, I was the only one he was interviewing. Needless to say I was a tad flattered by all this, but retained my trademark skepticism.

He proceeded to ask me about my prior jobs, and when he saw that I had maintained a database in Access (ooh, difficult) he exclaimed "I'm in love!" (Hmm, wonder what his wife thought as she was sitting right there. . . :P. SKETCH ALERT #4). Then he started mentioning all the traveling the job entails, going to such exotic locales as Pittsburgh, Milwaukee, Dallas, and New York. Then he asked why I lived in Brockton, "which may as well be Mars." I explained that I was staying at home to save up some money


Well, maybe not flipped, but the tone of the interview dramatically changed. He thought my parents would totally not be understanding if I got home from a business trip at like 3 AM. I tried to counter that they would understand, but he remained adamant. Then he asked me what my SAT scores were (huh?? he said before he didn't need to know - SKETCH ALERT #5). When I told him it totally shut him up, though. ;) Then he toned down a little and mentioned the salary (a dissapointingly low $28,000, with the possibility of raises every 30-60 days), and the benefit (note that I said benefit - it was only health insurance (SKETCH ALERT #6). I asked about dental insurance, and he went off on this huge, testy tangent about how expensive dental insurance is for small businesses.

After this, he led me out into the main room where I underwent the *challenging* computer tasks of drawing a table in Word and moving a row in Excel (ooh, shudder!) I passed with flying colors, and he led me back into the room saying that he had 4 more people to interview (what happened to my being the only interviewee? SKETCH ALERT #7!!!) and that he would call me by the end of next week.

Well, that was a bizarre experience. The girls who were my age were nice, and the traveling sounded fun (oh, I'd get a laptop to do work on the road but I'd have to get a cell phone myself - AND CELL PHONES ARE MY NEMESIS!!! SKETCH ALERT #8!!!), but the bosses were weird, the pay was shitty, and the benefits even more shitty. So I think I will consider this place a last resort.

Que dia!

What I am wearing: Sky blue and white PJs.

What I am listening to: Smooth Criminal by Alien Ant Farm.

How I am feeling: Bizarre. As per usual.

fellowship fun!!!!!

October 11, 2001

3:58 AM

Today I embarked on the uber-ambitious task of trying to get my personal statements done for my fellowship applications. I would've waited until the last minute, of course, but one of my professors asked for a copy of my personal statements to help him with his recommendation, so I had to write them.

I have decided that personal statement writing is an art, and one that I have yet to perfect. My one for my application to Penn was horrible (it was basically like "I want to be involved in lots of activities at Penn"), and I wanted to make my ones for the Gates Cambridge and Thouron better. Lots better. I actually started on them a while back, but I was torn between revealing a lot and a little of my past. I am an intensely private person, but it takes a knowledge of my life story to really get to know me, so I felt I had to convey it *somehow*. I might have erred on the personal side, but oh well.

Hopefully the professors and fellowship committees will find it juicy, if nothing else.

What I am wearing: Same PJs as last night.

What I am listening to: Only Time by Enya, yet George Michael's Faith is reverberating in my head.

How I am feeling: Hopeful. Pensive.

i am officially a palindrome

October 14, 2001

12:14 AM

22 today, baby!

I don't know whether to feel psyched or geriatric. . . but the cake was awesome - to die for!! Chocolate-chocolate, mmm mmm.

P.S. Here's a recipe: Katie + 80s music = crazy dancing with no inhibitions

What I am wearing: My birthday suit!! Haha, just kidding.

What I am listening to: You Spin Me Right Round by Dead or Alive. Awesome song.

How I am feeling: wheeeeeeeeeeeeee

oh and maybe the time is right. . . oh, maybe tonight

October 17, 2001

4:17 AM

You know. . .

sometimes I think I missed my calling in life. I would've totally loved to've been a singer. :)

What I am wearing: A PJ top, jeans and sneakers. Don't ask.

What I am listening to: New Year's Day by U2.

How I am feeling: Happy and free.

what to do with my life

October 20, 2001

4:24 AM

The more I think about it, the more I know I would never, ever be happy at a conventional job. It probably sounds horrible, but I really, really hate being told what to do. Especially by people who are dumber than I am. This problem has arisen in several of my previous jobs and frustrates the heck out of me. I mean, why should I intentionally do things wrong when I obviously can do them right? Just because I didn't have the degree (at the time) or loads of full-time, permanent experience (as then and now) doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing. grr

Well, enough of that rant. Basically I'm trying to flush out what to do from now on. I had (miraculously) convinced myself to try to do the terminal masters at Cambridge or St. Andrews and then go to law school, but I am getting intense encouragement - pressure, even - to pursue a doctorate in English. And it is not random folks providing the pressure but fabulous, renowned, senior faculty, a current department chair, and a former undergrad chair. OK, so I love medieval literature. Really, really love it, to the point of insane nerdiness and telling all my friends to take classes in it. But I don't consider myself some superstar. Granted, I somehow made the cut for the honors program and hammered out a thesis that I am really proud of (especially having composed it with only one hand), but I just don't know if I can produce these really brilliant articles for the rest of my life. I fear that my creativity in the discipline will dry out. Plus, I have never been an extremely gutsy person. I have a sort of calculated guts about me, like I attempt "risky" things when I determine that there is a greater likelihood for success than failure, but not enough guts to plunge into a 6ish-year program which, upon completion, would yield me a very small likelihood of getting a job (tenure [and even non-tenure] track jobs in humanities are scarce, and even scarcer for people like me, who aren't pursuing a trendy field in English like African-, Asian-, Chicano-, Latino- or postcolonial type studies). I guess part of me dreams of happily toiling away at crusty illuminatinated manuscripts in some corner of the UK, teaching my own class at some university in the US, and publishing cool, innovative articles in the discipline that I love. But the other part says, please, you are gonna be without medical and dental insurance for at least 6 years, squeak your way through your doctorate, write a run-of-the-mill dissertation, apply for jobs worldwide, land a non-tenure track visiting affilitated quasi-lecturer position at Happy Prairie Community College in North Dakota and count your teeth as they fall out from the years you didn't have dental insurance. Then in your spare time you can roam the wheat fields, dreaming of the ocean, civilization, and a secure living. Then when you get let go from your shady teaching job you can work the diesel pumps at a gas station, marry a 500-pound trucker, move to Alabama and have 10 of his kids.

So yeah, I am torn, as my Libran self always has been, always is, and always will be. It's just that law seems so much safer than English. I could pick where I wanted to live, instead of having the job dictate my place of living. I would be guaranteed a salary and medical and dental insurance (yeah, I am obsessed with dental insurance. . . don't get me started on that) instead of hoping to squeak by and that I am just naturally disease-resistant (my genes are good, but I'm not gonna push it). Plus, law would give me so much more job security. And I am a big fan of security in every aspect of life. So I dunno. I remember this lady in Career Services who counsels people in graduate and professional school admissions who told me about her PhD in art history at Penn. She enjoyed it, but couldn't get a job in that field after graduating, so she's working for Career Services (I love the irony - people in Career Services could never get a job anywhere else). Anyway, she was saying that she was lucky enough to have a husband support her while she did her doctorate. Then I started thinking about this and realized that almost everyone I know who is pursuing a doctorate either has a spouse or *very* significant other who undoubtably provides them with financial support, medical and dental benefits from their jobs, and emotional support. Plus, if their academic careers never end up taking off they can always rely on the spouse's career. I don't have that kind of security to fall back on, so I would be completely bucking the trend. Not that I don't often find myself in that position. . . :P But I don't wanna take huge risks with my life. I have massive loan debt. I have awesome teeth I wanna keep. I need job security.

I am gonna stop this entry now because it is getting severly stream-of-consciousnessy and I have probably lost anyone who started out reading this anyway. :)

What I am wearing: My Penn hooded sweatshirt, jeans and my favorite leather clogs.

What I am listening to: Silence, besides my typing.

How I am feeling: Torn. And cold! :(

happiness is. . . making out like a bandit (and other stuff)

October 21, 2001

8:43 AM

Happiness is. . .

Making out like a bandit: Yesterday (Saturday) was the big book sale at the East Side library. So of course I stayed up all night (as if that was hard. . . :P) to prepare, because I knew all the little old ladies would've staked out the place at the crack of dawn. Sure enough, I got there at like 9:05 (the sale started at 9) and the geris (short for geriatrics, of course) were already roaming the racks. Luckily, I am taller, speedier, and can see better than them, so I scooped up some awesome finds. Among them:

Hija de la Fortuna, a picaresque novel by Isabel Allende. This is my first-ever Spanish novel! I am so up to the challenge of trying to read it. If anything, it should help my Spanish tremendously. Cost: $1.00.

Gertrude and Claudius by John Updike. This is supposed to be an awesome book - it's a take on what predated the plot of Hamlet. It excites me. :) I will probably read this first. Cost: 33 cents.

Executive Orders by Tom Clancy. This is the book that is now infamous since it contains the plot of a runaway jet crashing into the Capitol. Should be a chilling read. Cost: 33 cents.

The Greatest Generation by Tom Brokaw. I got this for my dad, but couldn't help sneak a peek. What a cool book about WWII vets, both famous and unfamous. Cost: $1.00.

Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton. I always wanted to read this! Cost: $1.00.

The Client by John Grisham. Ditto. Cost: $1.00.

I also got some neat paperbacks by Stephen King, Mary Higgins Clark, Dean Koontz, and other people (who wrote Kiss the Girls?) Anyway, everything came to just $6.50! And I got a free blueberry muffin! Can't get any better than that. :)

Getting your order from J.Crew: I was so psyched to finally get my stuff from J.Crew: a wool coat and two jersey tees. I love J.Crew (heehee, I may be turning into a prep - AAAAA! Just kiddin'.) But the true best was when I went to their outlet store in Kittery, Maine. Heaven. Everything good is in Maine. . .

Getting a new suit: Got a new suit from Frugal Fannie's (a place that sells designer clothes in massive warehouses and has freaky dressing rooms {i.e., wide open spaces with no partitions so everyone can watch you change!). It is a black skirt suit from Jones NY. Cute. Now if only I could get the job to go with it. . . :P

Watching your alma mater's football game: I was psyched to see that the Penn-Yale game was televised on cable here in Mass. Unfortunately, the game had a tremendous Yale bent, so I had to endure interviews from Yale alums and massive infomercials about how great Yale is (and miss the band's halftime show!). But Penn beat the pants off Yale - that is the important part.

Knowing that the Sunday paper(s) will be here any minute now: Bliss.

What I am wearing: A short-sleeve peachy-brown oxfordish tee (impossible to explain, as you can tell :P), brown cords and my Sauconys.

What I am listening to: Cars go by.

How I am feeling: Excited and cold. I really gotta get a metabolism!!!


October 22, 2001

6:51 AM

Kai as turejo kaime mergele Eijau lankyti kas vakareli Oi ly, oi lylia. . .

Yesterday my mom and I went to this Lithuanian festival on West Elm Street. I was so eager to go, 'cause I was woefully ignorant about my quarter Lithuanianness. And I am happy to say that I am well on my way to an unignorant existence. :)

The event had a nice turnout (about 50 people), especially since the Lithuanian enclave in Brockton has dramatically dissipated since the early 1900s when they all came to work in the shoe factories. Amazingly (to me, at least), I heard lots of old-timers conversing in Lithuanian! It was cool.

There was a lotta cool stuff to do and see, including egg coloring, straw crafts, amber jewelry, and a historical talk. My mom and I wiped out the "for sale" table, buying a gorgeous wooden carving of Vytis the White Knight (see more about him here), a scarf of Vytis, and a scarf of the Hill of Crosses.

One of the funnest parts of the day was when this quasi-famous opera singer passed out sheet music and led us in singing some Lithuanian folk music (of which I reproduced a sample above). I am proud to say that I speedily learned how to pronounce lots of Lithuanian, so I sounded pretty good when I was singing, but of course I had no clue what I was talking about. heehee. There was also a cute troupe of little kids who performed Lithuanian dances in authentic costume. Alas, there was no dance tutorial.

The day culminated in a luscious dinner, which included stuffed cabbage rolls in a tomatoey sauce, kielbasa, a pickle, Lithuanian rye bread and Lithuanian Christmas cookies. I thought I intensely disliked stuffed cabbage and kielbasa, but these were yummy!!! I will hafta rethink my aversion to Lithuanian cooking. :)

What I am wearing: A celery-green lambswool sweater, brown cords recycled from yesterday (I just love those pants) and my dad's slippers.

What I am listening to: Nothing officially, but the melodies to the Lithuanian folksongs are still echoing in my head.

How I am feeling: Happy and a wee bit more cultured.

IQ, and the significance of 14

October 23, 2001

10:29 PM

Having been too depressed as of late with my nightly online job searches (I am never getting a decent job!!), I decided to try something different: an IQ test.

The was my first crack at an IQ test, and I thought it was pretty fun! My score was 145, which, according to the test I took is "borderline genius." Now, I don't know how valid this test is (to its credit, it is timed, and does account for age) but the score was a morale booster to this chick who was denied admission to the gifted and talented program back in 3rd grade. Take that, "gifted" punks!

It also made me think about the weird theme of 14 (or at least the consecutive digits of 14) that runs through my life. It is a number that figures prominently in everything from my birthday (October 14) to my SAT score (1440) to my newly discovered IQ of 145.

Interesting. I wonder what other significance 14 will hold in my life. . .

What I am wearing: A fatigue-green hooded sweatshirt, plaid pajama pants, and brown leather clogs.

What I am listening to: Livin' it Up by Ja Rule.

How I am feeling: Relaxed 'n' comfy.

crushes, and men

October 30, 2001

4:05 AM

Today (actually yesterday, but who's paying attention?) I got yet another of those "someone has a crush on you e-mails" where you are supposed to go to a site, register, and find out clues as to whom it is. I hate these because I figure if someone likes me, he should just come out and tell me. What will I care if the feeling's not mutual? Am I hostile? Do I intimidate anyone besides fleas? ;)

Seriously though, these anonymous crush things get me into trouble. The last time I got these I made an assumption about the identity of the sender (using as part of my evidence a prolonged period of what I construed as blatant hints and come-on attempts) and called him on his feelings, but he denied any interest. Can't say I was wrong with my perceptions, though - even his friends picked up on his unsubtle flirtations! He just didn't mean them in an unplatonic manner. Or something.

But I digress. The point is that I am giving up on trying to figure out these things because men are just too darn confusing. They act one way, they feel another. I am reminded of another individual with whom I had an extended non-platonic involvement (for lack of a better term, although this defines it remarkably well). When said individual entered into an unprecedented relation (i.e., one of a quasi-permanent nature) with another individual (to my shock), he chastised me for never proclaiming that I wanted a committed relationship, and expressed what seemed to me as regret that we never engaged in such - only he failed to remember that I had asked for such a relationship on numerous occasions, and he declined each time! Was he just blind? Oblivious? Complacent in what we had? Something worse?

So yeah, I will never, ever, EVER get men. Women are so easy to understand. Men are impossible. And yes, I'm allowed to make sweeping generalizations like that. This is my journal (and even if it weren't, I am still right! ;) Ha!) If you don't like it, tough.

What I am wearing: Blue sweatshirt, PJs with clouds on them, one blue sock and one red sock, and sneakers.

What I am listening to: In a true mockery of everything, Orange Crush by REM.

How I am feeling: Befuddled.

halloween stats

November 1, 2001

1:38 AM

number of times i had to answer the door tonight: 2

total number of trick-or-treaters who came to the house: 8 (3 at the first doorbell ring, 5 at the second)

amount of candy left for me to eat: heehee ;-)

What I am wearing: Oatmeal-colored hoodie sweater (with the hood up, because it's cold!), raspberry tee under it, jeans and the comfiest boots ever.

What I am listening to: Do they Know it's Christmas? (Feed the World) by Band Aid. Also, a PBS documentary on shipping. The only reason that on is because the announcer has a sultry Irish accent. He said "shedule" instead of "schedule." heehee

How I am feeling: Happy.

if i were any cooler, i'd be an ice cube

November 2, 2001

5:01 AM

Sometimes I just feel good about myself. Today was one of them. I managed to:

a) Finish my Thouron application. When I say finish, I mostly mean print stuff out and write out an envelope. The thing was technically finished a couple weeks ago (aside from the pictures, which I took in a shady mall booth on Halloween), but I am lazy. So that's out of the way.

b) Apply to an awesome looking job at BC! It's for a Communication Specialist, and basically involves working on websites and writing newsletters and brochures. *Exactly* the type of job I like to do. Hopefully I'll get it!

c) Buy a stuffed giraffe at this country store in Mansfield. This is yet another of my random purchases this week which include a pewter Loch Ness monster pendant and a stuffed lighthouse (there were also 3 more mundane purchases, 2 orders from J.Crew and one from Eddie Bauer).

The only thing that stunk today was that the Yankees won tonight's game (and last night's game, and the game before that. . .:P) I have been glued to this series, and I really hope Arizona can pull it out. I don't care what people say about how the Yankees deserve to win the World Series after what happened on Sept. 11 - THEY DON'T. The Yankees have won the World Series something like 4 times in the past 5 years, so someone else needs to get a chance. I can't think of anyone better than a very new Arizona franchise that is having trouble with attendance figures and could really use the economic boost a World Series provides.

What I am wearing: Red tee, jeans, white socks.

What I am listening to: Ordinary World by Duran Duran. What an *amazing* song. If you have never heard it, download the mp3. Or at least read the lyrics. So moving and beautiful. And it's pop music! Who'da thunk it!

How I am feeling: Accomplished.


November 5, 2001

12:33 AM

What a magical night.

The Diamondbacks beat the Yankees 3-2 in a total Game 7 nail-biter to become World Series champs! You would not believe how high I was jumping in the living room when the tying and winning runs were scored. I could totally be a high jumper. ;)

It is glorious that the Yankees lost. This is because I, as every orthodox Red Sox fan (hey, there are some unorthodox ones), hate the Yankees. It is simultaneously glorious that Arizona won. I love to see an unexpected team win. The first World Series for a 4-year-old expansion team. The fastest expansion team to ever achieve the feat. Glorious. I am all smiles. And I know my dad is too. :)

What I am wearing: A Penn sweatshirt, pj pants, and my star-and-moon slippers.

What I am listening to: Fox 25 news.

How I am feeling: All smiley and happy.

rock on with my bad self

November 9, 2001

1:36 AM

I was gonna write a cranky entry, but then I realized I had some cool stuff to say, and that the crankiness is not time dated, so I will recycle that for another time. Here goes with the happiness:

I have a job interview!! The job is at BC, and you know how much I want - need, even - to be back in a university setting. Academia is my lifeblood.

Anyway, the job is a "Communication Specialist" for "Tech Integration Support" at Student Services. "Responsibilities include: the design, implementation, and maintenance of the Student Services web site, the integration of Student Services print publications into web services pages, assisting with writing and editing brochures, newsletters, the University Catalog, and additional print publications as needed, and group and individual training for new technological services."

Sounds right up my alley, no? I am so psyched!!! If this doesn't pan out, I think I am very close to an interview with FM Global, a financial company in Rhode Island that needs a web 'n' writer type person. Whee!!!

Oh, and a minor side note: Penn-Harvard game Saturday!! I am seeing my peeps tomorrow (technically tonight)!!! Awwww yeah!!!

What I am wearing: A beigey cable sweater, brown cords, my Dartmouth moose socks, and my Born boots. Oh, and my grey scrunchie.

What I am listening to: Nada.

How I am feeling: Psyched.

the 'quiet' ones

December 5, 2001

4:07 AM

Wow, almost a month since the last entry. . . I'm gettin' bad.

Anyway, the big news lately is about George Harrison's death. It is a big deal in every newspaper I read (4) and a few magazines and TV shows. I don't know much about the Beatles, but in almost every venue I heard Harrison being described as "the quiet Beatle." Then some articles went on to say how Harrison wrote some amazing songs that weren't attributed to him but to Lennon or McCartney and said some hilariously sarcastic quotes that weren't attributed to him, either. So much for being "quiet."

This resonated with me because I know that if I died today many people would be quick to peg me a "quiet" one too. I know for lots of people in high school and college I am this one-dimensional figure who never made a peep. I know they have assigned me all the stereotypes that go along with being quiet: being a goody two-shoes, perfectly innocent, all that. I also know I, as a subdued figure, have been passed over in job interviews for my more boisterous (and I'm sure in some cases less-qualified) counterparts.

I wonder what would've happened had these people taken the time to get to know me. I am not one who is prone to affectations. I don't act all fakely affectionate in social settings to people I don't even know. But to know me is to know someone who loves her friends to death. Someone who is not nearly a goody two-shoes. Someone who is not so innocent. Someone who is cool, if I do say so myself. :)

What I am wearing: A navy sweatshirt that says "Joie de Livre," light blue pajama pants and my Sauconys.

What I am listening to: Dilate by Ani DiFranco.

How I am feeling: Misunderstood. But hey, to Emerson, that's genius! (read "Self-Reliance") :)